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strangetrip2018-10-09 01:19 pm
st_arkcrowblack) wrote in strangetrip2018-10-09 01:19 pm
Entry tags:
[EP] The eye of the storm
Anybody coming to find out what all the noise in the lobby had been about would find a girl sitting on the floor with a cat in her lap, bloodied hands stroking over its black fur.
When Yasmeen had gone away, when Sansa had gone away, Snow had managed to get herself out and away from the inn where she could let her noise out without fearing any person, or more importantly, the horses. And both those times, Kash had found her and helped her scrape herself back together. She had come so much to rely on him being there, that at first she hadn't believed it. She'd gone searching, like a child trying to grasp the meaning of dead. She'd wandered all over the grounds, gone to his room, gone to the stables, gone to the clinic, walked miles of paths. It was only then that she'd given up and asked Darryl.
Then she lost her shit.
She howled, threw anything small and breakable that she could lay her hands on, and punched the walls until her knuckles were raw and bleeding.
What was she going to do without him? Kash had always been there for her when she didn't think she could talk to anybody else. He had saved Juno. Who would help her now when any of the animals were injured or sick? Who would hear what she was saying, even when she couldn't say it? He was her friend. Perhaps the best friend she'd ever had.
This was what happened when you trusted people. They just left. They just fucking left.
And she probably would have screamed herself hoarse if it weren't for the feeling of a furry little body slinking around one of her ankles. Of course she wouldn't have been the only one left behind (which was a cruel and unfair thing to think, she was not the only person who loved Kash. She just didn't care right now). She crumpled to her knees and Socks climbed into her lap. After a long moment she began to pet him, no longer the little kitten she'd held out to Kash last Christmas. There was no peace in the silence, but she could not continue to rage with Socks holding her down. The moment he left that place, it would all rise up again. So for now, she sat there in the mess she'd made, staring at nothing, her blood running into his fur.
When Yasmeen had gone away, when Sansa had gone away, Snow had managed to get herself out and away from the inn where she could let her noise out without fearing any person, or more importantly, the horses. And both those times, Kash had found her and helped her scrape herself back together. She had come so much to rely on him being there, that at first she hadn't believed it. She'd gone searching, like a child trying to grasp the meaning of dead. She'd wandered all over the grounds, gone to his room, gone to the stables, gone to the clinic, walked miles of paths. It was only then that she'd given up and asked Darryl.
Then she lost her shit.
She howled, threw anything small and breakable that she could lay her hands on, and punched the walls until her knuckles were raw and bleeding.
What was she going to do without him? Kash had always been there for her when she didn't think she could talk to anybody else. He had saved Juno. Who would help her now when any of the animals were injured or sick? Who would hear what she was saying, even when she couldn't say it? He was her friend. Perhaps the best friend she'd ever had.
This was what happened when you trusted people. They just left. They just fucking left.
And she probably would have screamed herself hoarse if it weren't for the feeling of a furry little body slinking around one of her ankles. Of course she wouldn't have been the only one left behind (which was a cruel and unfair thing to think, she was not the only person who loved Kash. She just didn't care right now). She crumpled to her knees and Socks climbed into her lap. After a long moment she began to pet him, no longer the little kitten she'd held out to Kash last Christmas. There was no peace in the silence, but she could not continue to rage with Socks holding her down. The moment he left that place, it would all rise up again. So for now, she sat there in the mess she'd made, staring at nothing, her blood running into his fur.
Re: Regina x Snow
Re: Regina x Snow
She sat quietly beside Snow for a few moments, trying--a little frantically--to think of anything she might have said or done in the past few days to upset her daughter, but could think of nothing. As they didn't ordinarily fight, it more likely had something to do with Kashaw's departure, and Regina's relationship with loss was too erratic, extreme, evil for her to understand immediately what.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know you love him very much." It might not be comfortable for Snow to hear, but it was true, and for Regina, anyway, probably a reasonably safe thing to say.
Re: Regina x Snow
Re: Regina x Snow
Snow had shook off her touch earlier, so Regina didn't immediately pull her into an embrace. Instead, she reached for one of those raw, bleeding hands, and held it gently in her own, resting on her own thigh, where Snow's blood dripped and stained her clothes. A visual statement of her feelings, that when you cut Snow, she bled.
Re: Regina x Snow
Re: Regina x Snow
Re: Regina x Snow
For all that Snow had grown up by the sea, had actually been to sea, she had never felt lost and adrift like this before. Like there was nothing to hold onto but Regina and the cat. Nothing else was solid or real or safe. "Why?"
Re: Regina x Snow
Although it was probably best she didn't. If she knew who had hurt her daughter like this, no vows against black magic would hold her against making them suffer. She would rather have lost Dyson than have Snow lose Kash, rather suffer anything that see her like this.
Re: Regina x Snow
Re: Regina x Snow
"Love lasts forever," she said after a few quiet moments, sudden tears streaking her cheeks in empathy. "Long long long after today, you'll still be able to think of him and remember how it felt to be with Kash, and know he's still there somewhere remembering you too. It's not the same as having him here, I know. But hold onto that. And believe in it. You and I found each other again. Maybe you and Kash will too."
Re: Regina x Snow
At those words, she started to wail.
And she didn't know how to stop.
Re: Regina x Snow
Snow hated her own room. Regina's was red. She took Snow to Dyson's room and they hadn't been there seconds before there was a bark at the door. Not Dyson, but Aesop, and Regina didn't let go of her wailing child, only gestured at the door to let the dog in. He immediately jumped up on the bed and crowded into the hug.
Re: Regina x Snow
The wriggly mass of fur was immediately welcomed into the embrace, and the feeling of Aesop's tongue on her face surprised Snow into quiet. The sobs did not abate, but retreated into something softer so she wouldnt scare the dog. Snow felt like she would never stop, never catch her breath.
Re: Regina x Snow
Regina didn't have anything to add to the conversation that would make more sense than the dog. She just did the only thing a mother can do when their child is crying about something they can't fix: held on and made gently soothing sounds and gestures, while mentally arranging the things Snow would need when she did finally stop.
Re: Regina x Snow
Eventually she lay quiet, cuddled close to the dog. "I hate it here."
Re: Regina x Snow
"Want to help me destroy your room?" It was nothing significant, but it wouldn't hurt either of them to spend some rage. Regina more even than Snow. "If we run out of things to break and burn before we're tired of it, we can destroy mine, too."
Re: Regina x Snow
Re: Regina x Snow
It sounded like something Emma or Mary Margaret would suggest; which might make it weird, but not necessarily a bad suggestion. They'd done it when she arrived. Maybe just being with Snow would help a little.
Re: Regina x Snow
Snow thought about that, and then nodded slowly. She didn't want to move from this place. She wanted to sleep. She could not sleep, without something to distract her. And part of her hoped that when she did, she wouldn't wake back up.