strangetrip | [EP] A Bored Smartass

Alec was bored and so he decided to test the waters with the various creepy Inn workers. He started by walking up to the man at the desk. He plopped the towels down on the counter. Some were ripped, others had blood on them. "This is really unacceptable. How's a guy supposed to enjoy his time here at the Madonna Inn when these towels are dirty and destroyed? I thought this was a fine establishment, but I guess I was mistaken." The man behind the counter apologized, though there didn't seem to be any actual regret in his voice.

"Take this down. I want blue towels. They should smell like Lavender. And folded like various animals on my bed." There was a nod from the man, but how much would actually be followed through it would be hard to tell. Alec ended their interaction by tossing one of the towel's on the man's head.

His next destination was the kitchen. The chef was there preparing something chicken, as always. Alec stood next to the oven, watching. When the chef turned to get an ingredient, Alec flung a few shrimp into the dish. He watched with vague amusement as the chef came back, discovered the shrimp, and threw out the contents of the dish before starting over again. Alec repeated this a few times, the last two times being blatant about it and not getting much of a response from the chef at all.

Hours later Alec ran into the housekeeper. He spent a good hour walking behind her littering with small pieces of paper. Each time she'd stop and pick up or vacuum the mess. At one point he walked up looking earnest. "Oh here, let me help you." He grabbed the vacuum cleaner and 'accidentally' emptied its contents on the ground. The woman didn't even blink, but started to sweep the mess up.

After a while, Alec got bored of even this and ended up flopping down onto one of the couches in the lounge and exhaled.

(ooc: Feel free to find him at any point in his journey)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

“What kind of bad guys?” She couldn’t help but notice that none of the things he’d said were hobbies.

Alec gave a bit of a shrug. "Depends on the day. Most of the time it's the military." Or once he remembered he was talking to someone from a different world. "Uh... guys who work for the government and - soldiers." Yep, easier definition. "Other times it's these psycho cult people who drink snake blood and think they are the answer to mankind." Seriously, even Manticore knew they were creating fucked up things. "You know, the usual." He glanced at her with a slight, wry expression.

"I know what a military is," Pike laughed, eyebrow arching gracefully. "I like that that was what you chose to expand on and not the 'psycho cult drinking snake blood' part."

"Well, what's not to get about psycho cult who drink snake blood?" He grinned. "I mean, it's right there in the description."

Pike gathered up flour from the counter top and flicked a handful of it at him. “Come on, spill! Did the snake blood do anything for them?”

He put his hands up as if he were being attack and laughed. "Hey! I'm not hiding anything." He offered a shrug. "I guess, yeah. They had special breeding rules too. Made them super strong and fast. Like what the Nazis hoped to be, but with weird religious shit attached to it too."

“Drinking blood does sounds like freaky religious shit. My friend’s patron deity has her followers submerge themselves in a pool of blood to talk to her,” Pike shivered a little, “And, I mean, some of the things that evil gods and demons ask their followers to do in my world are intense. One time these assholes we were fighting had killed people and covered the walls of the temple for a ritual.”

Stopping her kneading, she waited a few seconds and tested how springy it was. Unsatisfied, she kept going. “I didn’t think your world had magic?”

Gods, demons, and pool submerging all sounded out there and he was thankful he just had the breeding cult to deal with. "I don't. It's genetics. Specialty breeding. The snake blood is poisonous and they make the kids drink it. If they live, they're one of them and if they die then they die." Even Alec thought that was insane, and he was all about survival of the fittest. Kids were kids, man.

"That's...that's just fucked up," Pike growled. She'd heard about genetics, but it didn't make any sense to her, "I'm glad you were fighting them."

"They're pretty messed up" he nodded. The truth was they were still fighting them, but he was determined to kick their ass. "But the good news is they aren't here."

"That is very good news. Though I don't think they'd last too long. Even the kids here are pretty bad ass."

Satisfied with the consistency of the dough underneath her fingers, she stopped kneading. "You should stop when it's smooth and hold its shape when you stop. See how it doesn't slowly smoosh down anymore?"

With a swift movement, she placed each of their balls into separate bowls, "Now we cover them with a warm towel and wait." She gave him a mischievous grin, "Any thoughts on what we can do for an hour or so while we wait?"

His eyes sparked for a moment like a kid who was just told there was dessert after dinner. Then he tried to look more suave about it. "I... can think of a few ways." He grinned.

"Oh yeah?" Pike couldn't help but laugh and blush just a little. No one looked at her quite like Alec did and she loved it.

She turned her hips so they were facing him. Thanks to her step stool, she could look him in the eyes without much trouble. A quick action had her hands dusted off on her too-big apron. She slid a finger into the pocket of his trousers and pulled him just a little closer. "Like what?"

Damn His lips pressed together as his mind thought of a lot of different options, some of them even including the bread currently raising under the towels, but he had already gotten in enough trouble with missing around in the kitchen today. A playful expression crossed his face. "Have I ever shown you just how long I can hold me breath?"

"Oh!" Her eyebrow lifted playfully, "I don't believe you have."

Glancing over to the door, she nodded, "Lock that."

Looks like she'd found another perk of having a private kitchen.

[EP] A Bored Smartass - OTA

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