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strangetrip2018-10-09 01:19 pm
st_arkcrowblack) wrote in strangetrip2018-10-09 01:19 pm
Entry tags:
[EP] The eye of the storm
Anybody coming to find out what all the noise in the lobby had been about would find a girl sitting on the floor with a cat in her lap, bloodied hands stroking over its black fur.
When Yasmeen had gone away, when Sansa had gone away, Snow had managed to get herself out and away from the inn where she could let her noise out without fearing any person, or more importantly, the horses. And both those times, Kash had found her and helped her scrape herself back together. She had come so much to rely on him being there, that at first she hadn't believed it. She'd gone searching, like a child trying to grasp the meaning of dead. She'd wandered all over the grounds, gone to his room, gone to the stables, gone to the clinic, walked miles of paths. It was only then that she'd given up and asked Darryl.
Then she lost her shit.
She howled, threw anything small and breakable that she could lay her hands on, and punched the walls until her knuckles were raw and bleeding.
What was she going to do without him? Kash had always been there for her when she didn't think she could talk to anybody else. He had saved Juno. Who would help her now when any of the animals were injured or sick? Who would hear what she was saying, even when she couldn't say it? He was her friend. Perhaps the best friend she'd ever had.
This was what happened when you trusted people. They just left. They just fucking left.
And she probably would have screamed herself hoarse if it weren't for the feeling of a furry little body slinking around one of her ankles. Of course she wouldn't have been the only one left behind (which was a cruel and unfair thing to think, she was not the only person who loved Kash. She just didn't care right now). She crumpled to her knees and Socks climbed into her lap. After a long moment she began to pet him, no longer the little kitten she'd held out to Kash last Christmas. There was no peace in the silence, but she could not continue to rage with Socks holding her down. The moment he left that place, it would all rise up again. So for now, she sat there in the mess she'd made, staring at nothing, her blood running into his fur.
When Yasmeen had gone away, when Sansa had gone away, Snow had managed to get herself out and away from the inn where she could let her noise out without fearing any person, or more importantly, the horses. And both those times, Kash had found her and helped her scrape herself back together. She had come so much to rely on him being there, that at first she hadn't believed it. She'd gone searching, like a child trying to grasp the meaning of dead. She'd wandered all over the grounds, gone to his room, gone to the stables, gone to the clinic, walked miles of paths. It was only then that she'd given up and asked Darryl.
Then she lost her shit.
She howled, threw anything small and breakable that she could lay her hands on, and punched the walls until her knuckles were raw and bleeding.
What was she going to do without him? Kash had always been there for her when she didn't think she could talk to anybody else. He had saved Juno. Who would help her now when any of the animals were injured or sick? Who would hear what she was saying, even when she couldn't say it? He was her friend. Perhaps the best friend she'd ever had.
This was what happened when you trusted people. They just left. They just fucking left.
And she probably would have screamed herself hoarse if it weren't for the feeling of a furry little body slinking around one of her ankles. Of course she wouldn't have been the only one left behind (which was a cruel and unfair thing to think, she was not the only person who loved Kash. She just didn't care right now). She crumpled to her knees and Socks climbed into her lap. After a long moment she began to pet him, no longer the little kitten she'd held out to Kash last Christmas. There was no peace in the silence, but she could not continue to rage with Socks holding her down. The moment he left that place, it would all rise up again. So for now, she sat there in the mess she'd made, staring at nothing, her blood running into his fur.
Re: Vex & Snow
Snow thought about that, considering her hands in silence for a long moment. She didn't like magic, it was true. But she also somewhere between didn't want Vex to go and didn't want to make Vex get back up. She offered them out. "S'okay," she murmured.
Re: Vex & Snow
The real hurts ran far deeper, and weren't anything that could be healed with a simple spell. All Vex could offer was herself, and time. The spell done, she ran a hand over Snow's hair again, wishing there was more she could do.
Re: Vex & Snow
Snow awkwardly mumbled thanks and returned her hands to her lap. Socks seemed to approve of this new unbloodied state, because rather than attempt to squirm away when her hands were tucked back into that awkward position for him, he remained where he was. Snow gave him a quick skritch behind one ear.
Re: Vex & Snow
Well, for awhile anyway.
This was ridiculous. Out hunting, she'd been known to sit for hours, unmoving, waiting for her prey. On ground less comfortable than a loudly floral, plush carpet. By comparison, they hadn't been here that long at all, but she could feel the ache starting to form in her hips, and how her back was tightening up. Not to mention the need to pee trying to become insistent with the baby practicing acrobatics on her bladder. She shifted slowly, trying discreetly to ease her body's various complaints.
Re: Vex & Snow
"You need to move," Snow mumbled after a moment of silence, feeling Vex trying not to squirm.
Re: Vex & Snow
"No... well, sort of. Just trying to find a comfortable position. Nothing seems to work for very long these days." And it was only going to get worse as she got bigger and bigger. At least that was the way it seemed for Zahra. Who wasn't here any more. To commiserate with Vex and give the benefit of her experiences, along with her friendship. "But I'm fine, darling. Really."
Re: Vex & Snow
Snow knew even before she asked this question that it was rude, but she wasn't very good at putting a mask over actual thoughts, feelings, fears, or wonderings. And thus far, Vex had taken that in stride. So. "Is it worth it?"
The baby. Staying on the floor. Both. Whichever.
Re: Vex & Snow
"It's worth it. Even when it hurts. Even when it feels like nothing will ever be normal again, it's worth it."
She paused, making up her mind. "Have I ever told you the story of how I got my bow?"
Re: Vex & Snow
Not seeing where this could be going, Snow only shook her head. But between her need for some sort of distraction and her natural love of stories, she could not help her curiosity.
Re: Vex & Snow
It all seemed so long ago now, that whirlwind of fights and quests. Less than two months from the fall of Emon to Raishan's defeat, and now they'd been here over a year.
"Vax's armor was the first we found. And when we proved ourselves to an androsphinx, he not only gave Scanlan his sword, he told us where we might find several others. Including Fenthras, Wrath of the Fey Warden. We had to travel to the Feywild, which is a strange place at the best of times. Time doesn't work the same way there: it's always twilght, and you could spend days there, only to get back to the material plane and find out no time had passed, or years had. There's even a pretty good chance, when you leave, you'll forget everything that happened while you were there. That happened to Percy, when we went for Fenthras, and to Grog too. But we went, because we needed all the help we could get against the dragons, and an incredibly powerful bow... I had to."
Re: Vex & Snow
Snow allowed the story to pull her in, retreating from her current pain into these events from the past that had nothing to do with her. That was the best part of stories, in her experience. They took you away. "What happened?"
Re: Vex & Snow
That wasn't the worst thing, though. Nor the hardest part of the story to tell. Vex had to steady herself, taking a deep breath, holding it as long as she could, then letting it out slowly.
"He said I was like him. That I was the only one who'd understand. That he'd give me the bow, give me the way to help my friends kill the dragons, and then I would be his. Forever. Because we were the same, broken and twisted and not letting other people see us for who we were.
"He was wrong, and we killed his ancient, viney ass. But you see, he'd forgotten what Fenthras really meant. It's an Elvish name, and I mostly don't give a shit about elves or what they care, but this was important. Its name comes from two words; it means 'protection' and 'growth'. That's its purpose. But a few thousand years on his own, and Saundor wasn't anything but his own poison and pain."
Re: Vex & Snow
She thought of Mrs. H, and the young Mrs. H in the mirror who had been punished by her own mother or stepmother or who-the-fuck-ever. The further away Snow got from that house, the more she understood that this was where it had all come from. The hitting, the starvation, the slights, the endless cleaning, the milk baths. It had never had anything to do with Snow's Indian blood. She would have done that to any stepdaughter. The brown was just an excuse.
Poison and pain.
Slowly, Snow nodded her understanding.
Re: Vex & Snow
"And if I wind up achy and crampy from sitting too long, I'll let Percy draw me a bath and give me a massage later," she added more lightly. Thinking about Saundor always dragged the mood way down, and today already sucked enough balls.
Re: Vex & Snow
Snow nodded, worrying her lower lip with her teeth. Then she ventured, "Just a few more minutes?"
Re: Vex & Snow
Vex might pay later for sitting too long on the floor, but she meant it when she said it was all worth it.