Lady Vex'ahlia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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strangetrip2018-07-23 03:26 pm
st_ubby) wrote in strangetrip2018-07-23 03:26 pm
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[log] Family Secrets (Vex & Curnen - backdated)
Deciding to only tell family (for now) was a lot easier than figuring out exactly how to tell family. Especially when family of choice had to be convinced they were family.
An unexpected rooftop meeting, and Vex has news for Curnen.
Stomach rolling and roiling worse than it ever had on sea ship or air ship or fighting a Kraken, Vex landed on the roof. Even after she touched down, she clung to her broom more firmly than she might have otherwise, swaying slightly. Her lips were pressed tight together and she looked a little pale. But no matter that she felt like she might hurl, she'd still noticed Curnen perched on the roof not that far away.
Good. She'd been meaning to talk to Curnen, somewhere others wouldn't be likely to overhear. She simply hadn't found the right time before now, what with Percy's work on the forge and her own attempts to get closer to Pelor without having a damn clue how to go about that. (Too bad Keeper Yennen was back in Whitestone. He'd be a big help.)
When she felt, no okay, she still felt like crap, but like she could move without upsetting the delicate balance of not puking, damn it, she let go of the broom with one hand to give Curnen a wave. Then, moving slowly, she tucked the broom into the bag that so often hung at her side, looking not nearly big enough for most of the things she kept there.
If there was anybody in these parts who both could and loved to fly as much as Curnen herself did, it was definitely Vex. And that she did it on a broom like a witch out of a children's book only made it all the better. Today, though, while Curnen waved back her expression was one of concern since Vex looked about ready to sway herself right off the roof.
She really didn't want to have to be the one to explain that to Percy.
Curnen slipped her harmonica into her shirt. "D'you need some solid ground under you?"
Vex shook her head, then followed with a "No. No, I'm all right right here." When she sat, she at least made it look like any other time she decided to join someone on a roof for a chat. At least she could do that. "Besides, darling, I've been wanting to talk to you."
It was too easy to tease her, so of course Curnen did, her voice lifting in a verse of Tam Lin. Never mind that Vex wouldn't know it. The joke was pretty clear.
All the ladies of the court
at their play turn red as rose
except for Janet, fainting fast,
green as growing grass she goes
No, Vex didn't know the song, but with Scanlan, she was used to him making things up on the spot that were relevant. And irreverent, because Scanlan. And whether it was Curnen's intention or not, Vex heard it as the poor Janet suffering for the same reason she was. "I have never been broomsick in my life." Overdramatic? Possibly. But that was Vex, and Vox Machina. "Just so you know, this is the worst. The Worst."
Curnen had been joking, but all of a sudden she looked at this moment through a different lens and considered if it fit. "Oh. Are you...?" But she didn't finish the question. Reasons tumbled over themselves with nothing quite resolving into the one that definitely made her stop.
Vex's eyes twinkled, the force of her personality pushing through the too slowly receding nausea. "I am..." Her pause was deliberate, given weight, a you can fill in the blank. "But keep it to yourself for now, would you, dear? We're only telling family for now, and figuring out how to tell you all is harder than we expected. This isn't how I'd planned to tell you – not that I had a plan, but if I had come up with a plan, it wouldn't have been this – I simply hadn't found the time or right way."
Curnen could have said a lot of things in response to that, namely that in a community this small it didn't matter who Vex told or not, eventually people were going to notice something was different even before Vex started to show. She could have let the little voice in the back of her head dwell on Brushy, and the children they'd never had. She could have let something deeper and darker open wide and swallow her.
What popped out was an almost startled, "Why the hell're you telling me, then?"
Vex looked at Curnen a moment and then blinked, before she made a show of seeming pensive. "You know, there are so many things no one thinks to warn you about when it comes to being pregnant." Broomsickness for one, and no, Vex was not going to let that go anytime soon. It was annoying. "Like now. I can't quite tell if I'm being scatterbrained and only thought I mentioned the part about only telling family, or if there's something wrong with my ears and I misunderstood when you said, 'So that's why you're telling me.'" The last bit was sharper, the Vex Vox Machina knew not to argue with, but not Lady Vex'ahlia making a decree.
There was a part of Curnen that knew that this was where she was supposed to take a joke and laugh, but she couldn't do it. She found herself wincing.
That wasn't the reaction Vex was hoping for, and she could see Curnen knew it. But she could also tell something was wrong. Maybe if not for the rolling and twist of her guts she have a better idea where she'd messed up. Was it just Vex being pregnant? Especially when Zahra's pregnancy was so unavoidable and understandably painful for Curnen? Or the idea of being family to people who weren't Tufa? "Puking my guts out is horrid, and you know even better than I do what it's like wanting to fly and not being able to, but I should still be able to have a conversation without upsetting my friends. What's wrong, darling?"
"Ah, fuck," Curnen shook her head and found a smile. Her friend was going to have a baby and she was sulking, what the hell was wrong with her? "It ain't you. This is wonderful. I'm thrilled for you." And she was, she truly was.
Family was just... weird.
Family was family. And that usually meant complicated.
"I'm obviously not going to tell you not to be thrilled for me." Vex winked, a teasing wink, not a flirting Wink, obviously. "I'm thrilled. Percy's thrilled. We're also scared shitless. You can be hurt too, and you are. I just don't know how, or if there's anything I can do to make it hurt less." She'd gone and gotten all serious again, but Curnen was family, and family looked out for each other, and damn it, Vex was not going to cry. Fuck the prickling in the back of her eyes. It was just, what did they call it, those... hormones, right, 'cause it wasn't anything like whore moans at all.
Curnen shook her head again, more firmly. "It ain't you or anything you did. Just... y'all fit together. Not always pretty, but you do. It's hard to think of fitting with that when... well. Things." Things like hating Vex's best friend with a fiery passion. She didn't want to be Zahra's family. She didn't want to be Zahra's anything.
Things. Like Curnen's completely understandable – at least to Vex – desire to have absolutely nothing to do with Zahra, ever. Vex sat quiet for a moment, She wanted to take Curnen's feelings and fears seriously, as much as Vex usually tried to hide her own.
"When Percival and I first suspected I was... pregnant, I went to see Jackson in the clinic to find out for sure, because Vax needed to be the next person to know, before Pike or Kash even. I know, it probably sounds silly, but it felt important at the time." Especially after not telling him from the first that they'd eloped, or better, waited until he was there with them. "But after we told Vax, when we talked about who to tell and when, I couldn't imagine not sharing the news with you. Besides, who else is going to share bratty sister duty with me when I'm too pukey to maintain standards on my own?" Vax considered Curnen family too; they'd both taken to her from the time they met. Now she was stuck with them.
Curnen smiled at that. "Can't have that," she agreed. Vax couldn't be allowed to get a swelled head.
The smile turned a little shy and her voice softened down when she added, "Thank you."
Vex gave a tiny nod with a warmer smile. Family was tricky at the best of times, but she didn't want to lose Curnen from hers. "Speaking of the uncle to be, he's about ready to burst telling people the news. I think the only reason he hasn't shouted from the rooftops yet is he doesn't want to make me angry." Which had nothing to do with Vex being pregnant, not really. Vax of all people knew what Vex in a rage was like without her emotions going haywire the way they were these days. "He'll be thrilled to have someone else he can proud uncle at."
"Oh that poor thing," Curnen laughed. It was good for someone with Vax's tendency toward brooding to have something to be genuinely excited about. "Tell him he can start flailing at me whenever he needs to."
Laughing was good. And really, it wasn't a bad thing for Vax to have someone else who knew. That, and knowing how much she loved Vax, was why Vex had been all right with him telling Steph.
"That's enough about me and my news, though. Let's talk about you. How are you, darling? Up to any new mischief?" Yes, part of it was wanting something else to think about until her stomach calmed enough for Vex to climb down from the roof the old-fashioned way, but mostly she just wanted to know what was going on in Curnen's life that she hadn't picked up from proximity.
Normally Curnen would probably have shrugged and said something along the lines of 'not much, you're living in the same place where nothing happens that I am,' but today that was actually not accurate. She smirked. "I'm teaching Kash to play the flute."
Before Zahra had shown up here, Vex probably would've had her choice of jokes about Curnen and Kash and the playing of flutes. But now even something like it being useful if Kash ever decided he liked hotdogs could be cruel. So instead, "Should I see if the gift shop has ear plugs?"
Curnen didn't hesitate, her eyes sparkling with laughter even as she worked to keep her face straight. "Yes."
Granted, it was better than his singing, but Kash didn't really get music. He tried, though, and it meant the world to Curnen that he did.
Vex didn't bother trying to hold in the laughter. "I'll have to ask him how it's going. Preferably when he doesn't have a flute in his hand."
"Technically it's a pennywhistle," Curnen pointed out with a giggle, which she hadn't before because from what she'd gathered Scanlan was the only one in that bunch who knew anything about telling instruments apart. "But yeah, he's already figured out how to make some shrill as fuck noises on that thing."
"You are an evil, evil person." In the best kind of way, and if Vex had needed any proof Curnen fit in their fucked up little family, that would work. "Although if you're the one teaching him, then you're the one hearing most of those noises, so maybe you're a masochist instead."
"He tries very hard," Curnen allowed, trying to swallow the laugh. "And it's real sweet that he even wanted to try."
That was one thing you could say about Kash. He always tried his hardest when it was for someone he cared about. And he loved Curnen. Of course he tried. It had cut him deep when Curnen was so broken about Zahra's arrival and he couldn't even try to make it better. But they'd found a way to keep their connection, and now he was learning to play the flute from her. "For a grumpy gus, he doesn't hide his sweetness very well." Vax and Percy too, had a sweetness life hadn't taken away from them, if you knew how to see it, just under the surface.
Curnen's smile was soft and fond. She shook her head "He never did." Not from the first when he'd given her music back to her.
No, he never did. Kash could go on all he wanted about how he only brought her back to life because Vax would've killed him otherwise, but they knew it for the lie it was. He'd risked Vesh's attentions, to save Vex, because that was the kind of man he was. "We should probably keep him around. What do you think?"
Curnen nodded her agreement. For all the complications that came with it, she wouldn't want to be without him now. "I certainly always thought so."
An unexpected rooftop meeting, and Vex has news for Curnen.
Stomach rolling and roiling worse than it ever had on sea ship or air ship or fighting a Kraken, Vex landed on the roof. Even after she touched down, she clung to her broom more firmly than she might have otherwise, swaying slightly. Her lips were pressed tight together and she looked a little pale. But no matter that she felt like she might hurl, she'd still noticed Curnen perched on the roof not that far away.
Good. She'd been meaning to talk to Curnen, somewhere others wouldn't be likely to overhear. She simply hadn't found the right time before now, what with Percy's work on the forge and her own attempts to get closer to Pelor without having a damn clue how to go about that. (Too bad Keeper Yennen was back in Whitestone. He'd be a big help.)
When she felt, no okay, she still felt like crap, but like she could move without upsetting the delicate balance of not puking, damn it, she let go of the broom with one hand to give Curnen a wave. Then, moving slowly, she tucked the broom into the bag that so often hung at her side, looking not nearly big enough for most of the things she kept there.
If there was anybody in these parts who both could and loved to fly as much as Curnen herself did, it was definitely Vex. And that she did it on a broom like a witch out of a children's book only made it all the better. Today, though, while Curnen waved back her expression was one of concern since Vex looked about ready to sway herself right off the roof.
She really didn't want to have to be the one to explain that to Percy.
Curnen slipped her harmonica into her shirt. "D'you need some solid ground under you?"
Vex shook her head, then followed with a "No. No, I'm all right right here." When she sat, she at least made it look like any other time she decided to join someone on a roof for a chat. At least she could do that. "Besides, darling, I've been wanting to talk to you."
It was too easy to tease her, so of course Curnen did, her voice lifting in a verse of Tam Lin. Never mind that Vex wouldn't know it. The joke was pretty clear.
All the ladies of the court
at their play turn red as rose
except for Janet, fainting fast,
green as growing grass she goes
No, Vex didn't know the song, but with Scanlan, she was used to him making things up on the spot that were relevant. And irreverent, because Scanlan. And whether it was Curnen's intention or not, Vex heard it as the poor Janet suffering for the same reason she was. "I have never been broomsick in my life." Overdramatic? Possibly. But that was Vex, and Vox Machina. "Just so you know, this is the worst. The Worst."
Curnen had been joking, but all of a sudden she looked at this moment through a different lens and considered if it fit. "Oh. Are you...?" But she didn't finish the question. Reasons tumbled over themselves with nothing quite resolving into the one that definitely made her stop.
Vex's eyes twinkled, the force of her personality pushing through the too slowly receding nausea. "I am..." Her pause was deliberate, given weight, a you can fill in the blank. "But keep it to yourself for now, would you, dear? We're only telling family for now, and figuring out how to tell you all is harder than we expected. This isn't how I'd planned to tell you – not that I had a plan, but if I had come up with a plan, it wouldn't have been this – I simply hadn't found the time or right way."
Curnen could have said a lot of things in response to that, namely that in a community this small it didn't matter who Vex told or not, eventually people were going to notice something was different even before Vex started to show. She could have let the little voice in the back of her head dwell on Brushy, and the children they'd never had. She could have let something deeper and darker open wide and swallow her.
What popped out was an almost startled, "Why the hell're you telling me, then?"
Vex looked at Curnen a moment and then blinked, before she made a show of seeming pensive. "You know, there are so many things no one thinks to warn you about when it comes to being pregnant." Broomsickness for one, and no, Vex was not going to let that go anytime soon. It was annoying. "Like now. I can't quite tell if I'm being scatterbrained and only thought I mentioned the part about only telling family, or if there's something wrong with my ears and I misunderstood when you said, 'So that's why you're telling me.'" The last bit was sharper, the Vex Vox Machina knew not to argue with, but not Lady Vex'ahlia making a decree.
There was a part of Curnen that knew that this was where she was supposed to take a joke and laugh, but she couldn't do it. She found herself wincing.
That wasn't the reaction Vex was hoping for, and she could see Curnen knew it. But she could also tell something was wrong. Maybe if not for the rolling and twist of her guts she have a better idea where she'd messed up. Was it just Vex being pregnant? Especially when Zahra's pregnancy was so unavoidable and understandably painful for Curnen? Or the idea of being family to people who weren't Tufa? "Puking my guts out is horrid, and you know even better than I do what it's like wanting to fly and not being able to, but I should still be able to have a conversation without upsetting my friends. What's wrong, darling?"
"Ah, fuck," Curnen shook her head and found a smile. Her friend was going to have a baby and she was sulking, what the hell was wrong with her? "It ain't you. This is wonderful. I'm thrilled for you." And she was, she truly was.
Family was just... weird.
Family was family. And that usually meant complicated.
"I'm obviously not going to tell you not to be thrilled for me." Vex winked, a teasing wink, not a flirting Wink, obviously. "I'm thrilled. Percy's thrilled. We're also scared shitless. You can be hurt too, and you are. I just don't know how, or if there's anything I can do to make it hurt less." She'd gone and gotten all serious again, but Curnen was family, and family looked out for each other, and damn it, Vex was not going to cry. Fuck the prickling in the back of her eyes. It was just, what did they call it, those... hormones, right, 'cause it wasn't anything like whore moans at all.
Curnen shook her head again, more firmly. "It ain't you or anything you did. Just... y'all fit together. Not always pretty, but you do. It's hard to think of fitting with that when... well. Things." Things like hating Vex's best friend with a fiery passion. She didn't want to be Zahra's family. She didn't want to be Zahra's anything.
Things. Like Curnen's completely understandable – at least to Vex – desire to have absolutely nothing to do with Zahra, ever. Vex sat quiet for a moment, She wanted to take Curnen's feelings and fears seriously, as much as Vex usually tried to hide her own.
"When Percival and I first suspected I was... pregnant, I went to see Jackson in the clinic to find out for sure, because Vax needed to be the next person to know, before Pike or Kash even. I know, it probably sounds silly, but it felt important at the time." Especially after not telling him from the first that they'd eloped, or better, waited until he was there with them. "But after we told Vax, when we talked about who to tell and when, I couldn't imagine not sharing the news with you. Besides, who else is going to share bratty sister duty with me when I'm too pukey to maintain standards on my own?" Vax considered Curnen family too; they'd both taken to her from the time they met. Now she was stuck with them.
Curnen smiled at that. "Can't have that," she agreed. Vax couldn't be allowed to get a swelled head.
The smile turned a little shy and her voice softened down when she added, "Thank you."
Vex gave a tiny nod with a warmer smile. Family was tricky at the best of times, but she didn't want to lose Curnen from hers. "Speaking of the uncle to be, he's about ready to burst telling people the news. I think the only reason he hasn't shouted from the rooftops yet is he doesn't want to make me angry." Which had nothing to do with Vex being pregnant, not really. Vax of all people knew what Vex in a rage was like without her emotions going haywire the way they were these days. "He'll be thrilled to have someone else he can proud uncle at."
"Oh that poor thing," Curnen laughed. It was good for someone with Vax's tendency toward brooding to have something to be genuinely excited about. "Tell him he can start flailing at me whenever he needs to."
Laughing was good. And really, it wasn't a bad thing for Vax to have someone else who knew. That, and knowing how much she loved Vax, was why Vex had been all right with him telling Steph.
"That's enough about me and my news, though. Let's talk about you. How are you, darling? Up to any new mischief?" Yes, part of it was wanting something else to think about until her stomach calmed enough for Vex to climb down from the roof the old-fashioned way, but mostly she just wanted to know what was going on in Curnen's life that she hadn't picked up from proximity.
Normally Curnen would probably have shrugged and said something along the lines of 'not much, you're living in the same place where nothing happens that I am,' but today that was actually not accurate. She smirked. "I'm teaching Kash to play the flute."
Before Zahra had shown up here, Vex probably would've had her choice of jokes about Curnen and Kash and the playing of flutes. But now even something like it being useful if Kash ever decided he liked hotdogs could be cruel. So instead, "Should I see if the gift shop has ear plugs?"
Curnen didn't hesitate, her eyes sparkling with laughter even as she worked to keep her face straight. "Yes."
Granted, it was better than his singing, but Kash didn't really get music. He tried, though, and it meant the world to Curnen that he did.
Vex didn't bother trying to hold in the laughter. "I'll have to ask him how it's going. Preferably when he doesn't have a flute in his hand."
"Technically it's a pennywhistle," Curnen pointed out with a giggle, which she hadn't before because from what she'd gathered Scanlan was the only one in that bunch who knew anything about telling instruments apart. "But yeah, he's already figured out how to make some shrill as fuck noises on that thing."
"You are an evil, evil person." In the best kind of way, and if Vex had needed any proof Curnen fit in their fucked up little family, that would work. "Although if you're the one teaching him, then you're the one hearing most of those noises, so maybe you're a masochist instead."
"He tries very hard," Curnen allowed, trying to swallow the laugh. "And it's real sweet that he even wanted to try."
That was one thing you could say about Kash. He always tried his hardest when it was for someone he cared about. And he loved Curnen. Of course he tried. It had cut him deep when Curnen was so broken about Zahra's arrival and he couldn't even try to make it better. But they'd found a way to keep their connection, and now he was learning to play the flute from her. "For a grumpy gus, he doesn't hide his sweetness very well." Vax and Percy too, had a sweetness life hadn't taken away from them, if you knew how to see it, just under the surface.
Curnen's smile was soft and fond. She shook her head "He never did." Not from the first when he'd given her music back to her.
No, he never did. Kash could go on all he wanted about how he only brought her back to life because Vax would've killed him otherwise, but they knew it for the lie it was. He'd risked Vesh's attentions, to save Vex, because that was the kind of man he was. "We should probably keep him around. What do you think?"
Curnen nodded her agreement. For all the complications that came with it, she wouldn't want to be without him now. "I certainly always thought so."