strangetrip | Welcome to Hell

Dean rubbed his face for what seemed like the millionth time. He needed a drink or five. People were getting friends and family from home visiting them, word was spreading fast and who did he get? Castiel? Nope. Benny? Nope. Bobby? Nope. Charlie? Nope. He got Crowley. His freaking ghost of Christmas future.

He reached over the bar and picked up a half full whiskey bottle, Dean didn't bother with a shot glass but gave himself a highball glassful.

"Gonna share?" A soft British voice said by Dean's shoulder.

"Go away." Dean didn't even bother to look.

"Now is that anyway to treat your bestie? I came all this way to give you the information so you could be prepared and this is how you treat me. I'm hurt." His tone indicated that he was anything but. Crowley reached over and plucked the bottle from Dean's hand and poured himself a nice glassful, too. He settled on the barstool next to Dean and spun to look at the place. "What do you do for fun around here?"

"Torture demons." Dean muttered.

Crowley's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Dean just shot Crowley a look.

"It's not nice to get a bloke's hopes up like that." A smile spread across his features as someone entered the bar. "Now, that's more like it."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Hell of a promotion," Sam was saying when the demon started talking. He glanced aside at this 'Crowley'. "Guess that means you owe me your crown."

And then he looked back at Dean. "He's in the books, right?" With everything Bo was going through, he hadn't had a chance to read them all yet.

"Yeah, he is." Dean nodded, "the last ones. The 'unpublished' couple of books at the end of the series." He made a face. He still hated those books. Crowley first appeared in them after Sam got out of Hell.

"Books?" Crowley took a minute to remember and then chuckled. "Oh right the Winchester Gospel." He did little air quotes around Gospel.

"Got it." He'd be reading those as soon as he could. For now, he sat down beside Dean and ordered a drink.

"What are you doing here?" he asked Crowley, blunt and short-tempered.

"Giving my favorite Winchester news from home." Crowley smirked at Sam. "You, Moose, play nursemaid to Lucifer's lovechild."

That wasn't quite how he put it to Dean, but it amused him to state the truth in his own way to Sam.

"...Moose?"

It said something about Sam that he was more bothered by a demon calling him an animal than what that same demon said he was doing. Probably it said that Sam hadn't gotten his head around the Lucifer's lovechild part of things, but it might have said he really hated being picked on, and bullies, and this Crowley was ringing his bully bells.

"Alliteration, nice. Want to explain that?"

"Wwweeelll." Crowley drew out the word like you would to someone that was a little slow. "When a man loves a woman, they sometimes have a child. If mummy and daddy didn't get married, it's known as a love child."

He knew that wasn't what Sam meant, but it was just too easy to pass up.

"Ha ha ha." Sam didn't even pretend to look amused. Not that he was expected to, but he did lift a skeptical eyebrow and blow out an annoyed sigh. "Cut to the part where you tell me who 'mummy' is and why I'm babysitting." Because he was pretty sure it wasn't like if Bo or Molly had a kid from a previous relationship kind of babysitting.

Crowley would admit, only to himself thank you very much, that this version of Sam wasn't as easily poked as the other one. Interesting. He heaved a dramatic sigh and Dean rolled his eyes but let Crowley tell Sam like he'd told him.

"Mummy is just a human that Lucifer used. Shocking, I know." He didn't bother saying the vessel that Lucifer had been in had been the President at the time, that didn't matter. At least in Crowley's mind. "What is important is your soft head thought it was a good idea to keep a Nephilim away from his daddy, with mummy being dead and all." A beat. "And it was. Also, the baby is an adult after a day." Crowley quirked his lips, "Smart move on his part. That was probably the hell DNA."

It took Sam about a minute to parse all of that, most of it devoted to whether Crowley was actually saying that he'd done something right. In the end, he decided he didn't much care what Crowley thought. And he sure as hell wasn't going to admit to the demon king that the reality of Nephilim was pretty damned cool.

"So how did I, or Dean and I, happen to be in just the right place to handle that situation?" Because he had the distinct impression Crowley had something to do with it.

"That is because your good friend Castiel has an even softer head than you and took the human under his wing." A beat, "so to speak."

Dean interrupted Crowley at this point and added to what Crowley had told him earlier. "You and I tried to get the mother away from Lucifer. She, of course thinks we're nuts until another demon went after her." He looked over at Crowley, "demons have that affect on people. Anyway, Cas being Cas, he gets a bond with her and I guess with the kid/adult we babysit."

Sam made use of the telekinesis he'd been strengthening to grab himself--and Dean--another round of drinks. He pointedly didn't get one for Crowley, since he was apparently a ghost without powers or Dean wouldn't be sitting here drinking with him.

"The thing I still don't get is, why us? I mean, I know the whole meatsuit destiny, but why?"

Dean could admit that was proper use of demon blood mojo as he grabbed the next round of alcohol.

"No flippin' clue." He said honestly. "Besides we never give up on a fight and this sounds like another type of fight. Maybe it's to keep the half human archangel kid/man from going into the wrong hands. Hell, maybe it's making sure no one else dies on our watch if we can help it." That last option was probably closer to the truth of why Dean was involved. He was tired of losing people.

Sam glanced at Crowley briefly, but the demon wasn't going to give him a real answer. Probably. They never did. Demons lie was like Hunter 101.

He looked back to Dean and let out a sigh. "Yeah. That sounds like you. I probably figured it was my job to try to save the monster."

Crowley rolled his eyes, "leave it to you both not to see the big picture. The kid has power, you need power. He has a 'connection' to Castiel." Crowley did little air quotes over connection, "you use the connection to defeat his dad once and for all."

Or you know, just use the power which Crowley would have done if he had been them.

Dean just flicked Crowley a bird and shook his head at Sam, "not save the monster but save the kid. That's all you."

"Leave it to you to only see the picture," Sam snapped back at the demon-ghost-whatever. "That's the problem with demons. You think about yourself and the 'grand schemes and plans' without giving a crap for any of the people whose lives you're planning."

Pissed at himself for letting Crowley get to him, Sam sucked down half of his beer in silence.

Crowley would have said something but watching Moose pout was entertaining in itself. Too bad he couldn't enjoy the alcohol that was so close but so far.

Dean had noticed Crowley glancing at the whiskey bottle near his hand and he gave Sam a look that said watch this. He reached the whiskey bottle that was right by Crowley rather than the one closer to him. The top of the bottom of the bottle just skimmed over Crowley's knuckles. Even though Dean knew that he couldn't feel it, he was sure that Crowley 'felt' it.

"I'd pour you one, too but ..."

Crowley just scowled at him, promising himself that there would be payback later for that.

[OOC: Wrap? Also, happy birthday. <3]

(ooc: Wrap! And thanks! <3 )

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