strangetrip | Illyana's new pet

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Illyana's new pet - Tag Yana

Peter and Ned had managed to, eventually, win a goldfish when the other world had opened up. Ned had been convinced that Illyana would be happy with a pet - she just needed someone or something to give her unconditional love. A puppy would have been better, of course, but you didn't usually win those at midway games. Of course, when Ned started to think about it... was winning a goldfish just as bad as it would be to win a puppy?

It was too late now.

It had been a few days since the boys left the fish on the desk for Ms. Rasputin with a note hoping she would enjoy. As much as going to the library scared the pants off of Ned, he decided to try and do some 'recon' to see if Illyana liked her new pet.

He really hoped she hadn't eaten it.

He took a deep breath out in the hall, then stepped into the library and looked around. He felt the natural 'flight' urge, but told himself WWSMD - What would Spider-Man Do? - and remained.

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Wherever the goldfish had gone, it wasn't on the desk when Ned returned to the library.

But Illyana was there, wearing an asymmetrical knit sweater that slouched wide over a bare shoulder, the broody berry matching her lip color. Noting the boy's approach, she slid a book that had been sitting on the desk into her hands, opening it flat and skimming the pages. "In or out, Leeds," she told the boy sharply when he hesitated in the entrance.

'Fish or cut bait,' as it were.

He tensed in his shoulders and almost jumped, but didn't quite. It was kind of like when you heard the principal call you down to his office. He took a hurried step instead as if to show he was capable of making a decision, but once he did, he blinked and realized he hadn't quite thought this all the way through. His eyes definitely were scanning for the fish.

What if she really had eaten it?

He pressed his lips together and cautiously approached the desk. "So, uh. How's it going, Ms. Rasputin?"

Smooth.

She looked up from the book, straightening her posture and training piercing blue eyes on him. "I don't generally make idle small talk, is 'how it's going,'" she pointed out. "But you're well aware of that by now, aren't you?"

Ned nodded, because it felt like it was appropriate to nod. He also blinked, because he needed to and because he sort of was hoping he'd pass out and wouldn't have to continue the interaction. "Yeah.. sorry. I just..." How would a cool detective get the information out of a person who wasn't forthcoming?

"Well... can I ask if you liked the otherworld that opened up last week?"

"It was filled with the giddy screams of children," she told him pointedly. Which satisfied her as a reply.

"So.... bad, then?" Ned wasn't sure. Inwardly he flinched. "Uh... anyways. Did you play any games? There were like, all these fish. I tried to win some, but I suck. At the games, I mean."

She stared at him. "One would suppose that you did not win any fish."

"Um." He blinked. "No?"

Why was this so hard? It was sort of like talking to MJ and Flash at the same time - very intimidating and you were waiting for the punchline to kick you in the gut.

"Did you, you know... win anything?"

"No. I did not." She sighed silently, closing the cover of the book. Moby Dick. "However, someone did abandon an unsolicited goldfish to the harsh, barren landscape of my mercy. Were you in any way responsible for this foolish act, Ned?"

Was it possible for your life to flash through your mind from a simple question?

He swallowed hard. "I mean... how upset would you be if it kind of was?"

"Less upset than I would be watching you squirm and obfuscate your way haplessly through bald-faced lies," she assured him.

He facepalmed. "Sorry." Which was muddled by his hand. As he lowered it, he looked apologetic as he spoke. "Peter and I just thought that maybe you'd like a pet? I'm really sorry if you hate it or are... allergic, or something."

Of course Peter had encouraged him.

"Pets make terrible gifts," Illyana pointed out. "Even assuming the recipient has any desire whatsoever to feed and tend a useless, dependent creature. Which I do not."

He paused, looking at her. "Do... you want me to take it away?" Though probably from his expression he really hoped she wanted to keep the pet.

"Not at all." Illyana reached for something under the desk, a dark wooden plaque roughly the size of a postcard, and turned it around to show him where she had put his goldfish. Handsomely mounted on the plaque as if a fisherman's trophy, a copper plate set into the wood beneath the fish read the creature's name: ISHMAEL. "I simply haven't gotten around to hanging it yet."

Ned balked and went as pale as his skin tone would allow him. He blinked a few times and felt a little dizzy. "You... you killed him?"

"I immortalized him." She had determined it was most likely male based on its relatively thinner, more streamlined body shape with concave vent and midline ridge. "A better fate than neglect."

His brow knit with concern. He had never had a pet so he had never really dealt with pets dying. "But he was so cute and swam around and stuff..."

"Now he can be cute in perpetuity," she said with a blithe coolness. "He still serves the same function, and requires less maintenance."

"Um..." He paused. Would Illyana do that to a person for the same reasons? Ned tried to push the creepy thought out of his mind. "Okay, well.. um. I mean... I should... " He took a step back, trying to figure out how to process the whole interaction and failing.

"You should visit him whenever you feel the impulse to gift another pet uninvited," Illyana offered, glancing at the beam built into one side of the desk and lifting the plaque along it to try out its placement. "I think directly above the service bell would suit him."

"Right.. I'll.. definitely remember that." He reached the doorway and paused. "Sorry, Ms. Rasputin." And then he hurried away.

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Illyana's new pet - Tag Yana

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