strangetrip | [EP] The Worst Birthday

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[EP] The Worst Birthday

Of course, everybody had birthdays - even if they didn't know what day it was on the calendar, that didn't stop someone having them. Vax'ildan hadn't honestly thought much about it, until Joanna had got talking when to plant what one afternoon amongst the herbs in her garden. Seasons, months, weeks, days... They were different in this world from what Vax knew. Nevertheless, when he stopped to do a bit of his own math, he thought it must be very near his own birthday in Exandria.

Their birthday. His, by only a couple of minutes, and then Vex'ahlia's.

It seemed a stupid thing to get hung up about. But once it (she) had wormed its way into his brain, his heart, he couldn't get it (her) out, and it became a crushing reminder that Vex could be lost to him forever. He didn't have much in the way of distractions, and the more he tried to forget about it, the worse it had got until he sank into a drowning sulk. He avoided everyone and everything including his mirror-matched room, effectively vanishing for a few days on end, until gravely admitting that the only way out might very well be through.

Which is how he ended up sitting in the one corner of a booth in the cafe, armor exchanged for a simple sleeveless tunic and loose pants from Songrun, staring at the empty seat across from him with arms folded on the table in a bit of a hunch.

"Get us a drink," he told the passers-by mirthlessly, without so much as turning to look at them or stopping to count how many he'd had already. Did it matter? "It's our birthday."

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It was ironic, Vax had started to muse to himself. This whole pity party. It was mourning, is what it was. The Raven Queen's Champion in mourning. That was...something.

He stared at the beer and food that magically appeared before him on the table, but he didn't reach for them. He didn't move until Joanna's words managed to wind their way into his sluggish brain a moment later, but he turned to look at her intently once they had. "That's right," he reminded himself aloud. "Your children were...are... They're twins." He'd honestly forgotten, so deep into his self-indulgent funk.

"They are, and they found their way back to each other in time," she said gently, not letting the weight of the centuries between sound in her voice. "You mustn't give up hope you'll celebrate with your sister again."

He had tried to be good about waiting. Really he had. He'd tried being positive, staying busy, distracting himself with fuck-all. But he was so tired of it by now. And he just... "I just miss her. So much I feel broken," he admitted, a husky whisper. "Everything I've ever done in my life, has been with her. For her. Twinnies against the whole world."

Some of the things he'd done-

"Would you... Tell me about them?" Vax's eyes gleamed with a sheen of wetness as he looked up at her, intently. "Your Freya and Frederick. What are they like?"

Of course he felt broken. Part of his heart was missing. He looked so miserable, Joanna's heart hurt for him and it was maternal instinct had her reach out to rub his back, only stopping herself halfway there. Five months here and he still wore his armor everywhere, and he was drunk. Unexpected touch could trigger defensive habits.

"Growing up, they were inseparable. My little wild ones," she began, watching his eyes to see if the contact would be welcome. "Frederick was the older, by a few minutes, and he never let Freya forget it. He was every bit as protective as any big brother could be, too."

Edited 2017-05-29 21:47 (UTC)

Vax listened, silent. He didn't say that it reminded him of himself and Vex. He probably didn't have to. He didn't have the wherewithal to try and keep it off of his face. And because he saw her coming - eyes shifting from her face to her extended hand, then back to her face, emotionally choked expression clearly hungry for any small comfort - he didn't move to avoid her reach.

"And Freya?"

"Freya's my free spirit." Joanna began to rub slow circles on his back, memories of the many times she'd comforted her children playing across her mind. "A little wild, and all heart. The kind of person who loves to make people happy. She used to wake Frederick up so they could sneak off to the beach to watch the sunrise, the two of them. He just wanted to sleep, but she knew he couldn't say no to her. They thought I didn't know what they were up to, but..." But Joanna was their mother. She knew.

He liked hearing about her own twins, and had to admit that the decidedly motherly affection felt soothing. He found himself gradually slumping into his folded arms over the table in a sprawl that was more relaxed, even if it didn't necessarily look more comfortable.

She'd trailed off, and he spoke up once he realized he should say something probably. Even though he was well off his tits already, and if he opened his mouth, something stupid was likely come out of him and offend the very sweet woman. "...When did you last see them?"

"The day I found myself here." She'd thought of that day so often since, and the mess she'd been pulled from before she could clean it up. "Frederick and I... we parted badly. But there was a battle to be fought which he could not fight, and once we'd won – Freya, her sister, my sister, and I – although not without a cost, I tried to call him, to tell him I forgave him, but he didn't answer." The last time Joanna and Frederick had 'parted badly,' it was over four hundred years before she saw her son again. Now she was here, and she could not entirely shake the fear of the wait to come.

Pushing her own pain down deep, Joanna found a softer look for the poor boy slumped on the table. "You'd like Freya. Especially today. She loves being a bartender." And would likely have whipped up a potion-slash-cocktail to ease the ache of missing his twin on their birthday, if she'd been the one here instead of Joanna.

"I wouldn't have taken it lightly either, if you'd tried to keep me out of a fight with Vex," he muttered into his elbow. "...That's fighting next to Vex, not fighting... At Vex. But fighting with Vex happens, too. A lot. Sometimes. But it's never so bad. Love her too much," he was well on to babbling.

He closed his eyes, quiet for a few moments, but apparently hadn't passed out after all. "I'm sorry they're not here either. But at least they had a mother who loved them. They knew they did," he was sure.

Explaining why she hadn't wanted Frederick to come with them to confront the king was too complicated for Vax in his current state, and the rest of their history as well. "Siblings fight. That's the order of things. I didn't speak to my sister Wendy for... oh, a very, very long time. It doesn't mean you don't love each other deeply."

Oh, he knew that. Vax knew. They bickered like they were still kids, often enough. But it was mostly conversational or some petty sort of thing. It never changed the things that mattered most between them.

"She loves Percival, you know. The one who's here. The... White hair, glasses, makes things, keeps to himself - that's Percy. I thought... Maybe she'd want to start a life with him. I told myself that was alright. I had Keyleth, and after we'd finished with the Chroma Conclave... Vex deserves to be happy." He didn't stop to explain all of what he meant along the way. Either it didn't occur to him in his state that more explanations were needed for it to go beyond gibberish, or maybe he thought it wouldn't matter. "But this isn't that. I wasn't ready for this."

The telling probably mattered more than Joanna understanding all the details, and the emotions running through it.

"No. I don't think any of us were ready for this." She brushed a lock of hair back into place, same as she might've with her girls. "For the longest time, all I wanted was for my children to have a normal life and a chance to be happy. You and Vex deserve that too; I'm only sorry I can't give that to you."

"We've never had a normal life, Vex and I." He blinked his bleary eyes open at Joanna, accepting her touches. "But we managed to be happy together."

He parted his lips as if to say something more, but then pressed them back into a line again. He decided it would be cruel, rather than kind, to suggest that she reminded him a bit of his memory of their mother.

"I like tending the herbs with you," he told her instead.

"As do I, love." Vax'ildan wouldn't take the place of her children any more than Joanna could his mother, but she felt much the same, whether they were saying it or not.

Speaking of herbs, she reminded herself to make up a hangover remedy to leave for Vax tomorrow morning. He'd need it, and a tisane was probably better than simply magicking away the effects of today's sorrow drowning.

"Drink some water, yes? And maybe try a bite or two of food to keep company with the bar you've downed."

Vax picked himself up enough to reach for a hand pie, dutifully tucking in for a nibble. Very wise, was Joanna.

When he was done dying of his hangover, he would have to thank her properly.

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[EP] The Worst Birthday

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