[EP] The Worst Birthday

[st_abby]

Of course, everybody had birthdays - even if they didn't know what day it was on the calendar, that didn't stop someone having them. Vax'ildan hadn't honestly thought much about it, until Joanna had got talking when to plant what one afternoon amongst the herbs in her garden. Seasons, months, weeks, days... They were different in this world from what Vax knew. Nevertheless, when he stopped to do a bit of his own math, he thought it must be very near his own birthday in Exandria.

Their birthday. His, by only a couple of minutes, and then Vex'ahlia's.

It seemed a stupid thing to get hung up about. But once it (she) had wormed its way into his brain, his heart, he couldn't get it (her) out, and it became a crushing reminder that Vex could be lost to him forever. He didn't have much in the way of distractions, and the more he tried to forget about it, the worse it had got until he sank into a drowning sulk. He avoided everyone and everything including his mirror-matched room, effectively vanishing for a few days on end, until gravely admitting that the only way out might very well be through.

Which is how he ended up sitting in the one corner of a booth in the cafe, armor exchanged for a simple sleeveless tunic and loose pants from Songrun, staring at the empty seat across from him with arms folded on the table in a bit of a hunch.

"Get us a drink," he told the passers-by mirthlessly, without so much as turning to look at them or stopping to count how many he'd had already. Did it matter? "It's our birthday."

Comments

[st_oriedqueen]

"Tequila isn't nice," Regina retorted and poured another round. "It's effective."

It did raise a good question, though, of why she'd stopped in the first place. She hadn't been obligated, or if she had, it was the sort of social obligation she'd regularly ignored. She shrugged, licked her hand and salted it, said, "I lost two soulmates and two sons. I understand," then slammed the shot before her heart could listen to what she'd said.

[st_abby]

Vax held the second shot and stared at the contents absently. His head swam somewhat, alcohol at work, but his stomach turned over as he looked at the glass in his fingers. "I've never been without her," he murmured. "I don't... I don't know how. All these months... It's just been waiting. But no one tells you how long to wait for something."

[st_oriedqueen]

Regina extended her hand again, and noted with pleasure that despite the near-certainty of rejection, her fingers didn't tremble. She lay it in front of him, palm up and left the choice to him.

"You will always wait. You can't not. Some days its tolerable. Some days you forget for awhile. You learn to be as happy as you can, but you will never stop hoping the next face through the door is hers. And on the day that it is..." Her voice did tremble at the memory of Robin's arrival and then of finding Snow here. "Every second that you waited is instantly worth it and no number of months or years between you will matter. After comes the catching-up, the pouring out of hurt and the efforts to soothe, and the arguments, and you'll cherish it all."

By the time she'd finished speaking, tears glistened like jewels on her long black lashes but she didn't cry. Not today.

[st_abby]

Vax'ildan carefully pushed aside the glasses, the salt shaker, the limes, the lot. He picked up Regina's hand from the table, using both of his own (bare without gloves for a change) to wrap up her fingers and draw her closer. He tipped his face to rest his cheek against her knuckles, thinking of how she'd tried to touch him earlier, and quietly looked her in the eyes.

"Suppose I've got that to look forward to," he murmured.

[st_oriedqueen]

Surprised and touched at the gesture, Regina unfolded her fingers to caress his cheek. If he permitted it, she would stroke his hair. Nothing sexual motivated the response. To the contrary, she was, as ever, cognizant that she was more than old enough to be his mother twice over.

"All you can do is live past the pain. It's possible. And on the days that it's not--" Regina found herself smiling, very nearly laughing at the completely ludicrous thing she was about to say. "I'll be here," she said and then snorted. "Somewhere, my stepdaughter just fell dead of laughter."

[st_abby]

Once he'd given her hold of his cheek, his hair, the - whatever stuff up there she was inclined to pet, yes, good - Vax closed his eyes and propped up his chin in his opposite hand. Everything was too weird and he missed them, all of them, so much. Obviously Vex, but also Keyleth, who was his light and joy and conscience. Scanlan, who knew men's faults, reveled in them, but had always chosen to live for something better. Grog's loyalty was his true strength, not his muscle, and he was more honest in his motivations than many would ever be. And Pike... The beautiful, ball-busting believer in all warmth that could heal broken hearts and minds. She would have been able to comfort him in this.

But Regina, his thought circled back around, though her words came through to him a bit muddied... Was being unexpectedly, blessedly kind.

"Regina," he said quite softly, not going to all the trouble of opening his eyes. "Thank you."