Check-In November 15

[st_raighttovampire]

Next week was Thanksgiving, and Caroline's preparations were well under way.  She had a list of food, all of the bartenders were working on drinks. There would be entertainment - the new guy, Coby, had said something about performing and she'd heard that he'd played on his balcony over the weekend.

Since it was one of the usual days for check-ins, Caroline had decided to take the opportunity of waiting for arrivals to decorate the lobby. As with every other holiday, the inn had a huge storage room full of decorations, all labeled and packed away for the right season.

Gourds had arrived in the last delivery, so now the pink of the lobby was complimented by the orange and yellows of pumpkins and squash. A cornucopia spilled fake fruit onto the front desk, where the staff kept coming by and rotating one apple a few degrees, as though it would look more real that way.  They had lapel pins on, she'd noticed. Well, who said non-real people didn't deserve a little holiday cheer too?

Caroline perched on a ladder and fastened a streamer into the high corner of the roof, and watched the door. 

Comments

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_huntermom]

Her brow furrowed at the mention of so many trades. She tried to picture what that could mean for everyone but the dread inside her began to fester and she pushed it away telling herself she was over-reacting. "But you didn't, right? You're all safe?" It was almost a plea more than a quesiton

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_andingtall]

Immediately, Sam regretted how quickly he'd thrown it all at her. His anger was no excuse for a lack of compassion.

He reached over and took her hand, like he would if she were Caroline or Bo or a victim of something Supernatural before he shook his head. "Dad's gone." The other pieces would have to wait.

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_huntermom]

Mary's expression fell as she looked down at her hand to the wedding ring she had on. She thought about the day John proposed. Then the words of their vows. She took a steadying breath. "How?" She looked back up to Sam.

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_andingtall]

Maybe he could spare her the details at least, since she'd imagine worse than it had been...for Dad anyway. "Dean was in the hospital. Dad traded his life for Dean's."

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_huntermom]

She closed her eyes for a moment and then gave a single nod. It seemed almost fitting she would give her life for Sam and John for Dean's. There was a pit in her stomach that she would have to mourn after, but she pushed it down for now.

Her eyes opened again. "And you boys... You're both okay now?"

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_andingtall]

"I don't know if I'd say either of us are okay," Sam answered honestly, but without the bite of anger from before. "I'm not sure we ever have been. Dean thinks his life's worthless. I'm a freak. But we're alive and we were together. That's something."

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_huntermom]

A deep line pressed against her lips as she tried to stem the various emotions from forming on her face. There was a slight hesitation for a moment as she struggled with something, her body tensing a bit, before she gave into her urge and reached out to touch Sam lightly. She wanted to apologize again. She wanted to fix things. But she was dead. She looked at him with sad eyes that still held this soft desire to protect and make better.

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_andingtall]

Sam didn't shake her off, but he sat in silence for a long few minutes, struggling with his own emotions. He'd never extended that much courtesy to Dad, but Dad had been alive and a thorn in his side for all the years the woman in front of him had been dead.

The end result was that Sam kept his tone even and the accusations out of his eyes when he said, "I want to tell you it's fine. It's not your fault. Because you're... you, and I've missed you for my entire life. But I can't. Dad didn't realize it, but he blamed me for what happened to you. And then he figured out what Azazel did to me, and he told Dean he'd have to kill me if I turned. Dean raised me. He should never have had to shoulder that responsibility. And I wasn't even born when I got screwed over."

He lifted his head to meet her gaze. "I'm still mad. I'm probably going to be mad for a long time. But--" Now he gave her a lopsided, self-knowing half-smile. "I'm used to that." And now that she was here--which he still couldn't totally believe, since she really wasn't that much older than him--he would get over it. She was his mother and she needed him.

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_huntermom]

Mary didn't show any signs of an argument in her face - he was right. It was her fault. She shouldn't have made that deal, she knew better, and really, she shouldn't have been so naive to think she could get out of the hunting business without putting John and her family in danger. She wasn't happy with the way John handled everything and she had a hard time picturing John as a hunter as he was so... the opposite. It broke her heart to know her death had led him somewhere so dark and dangerous to where it killed him.

"There is nothing I can do to... to truly make things right for you Sam. I -" A pause as she made sure to gather herself. No quiver in her voice despite feeling like her life was unraveling before her - it wasn't fair to him. "I failed you. And your father and Dean and... I can't take that back." Another, shorter, pause. "But I will try to do my best, while I'm here, to be a good mother." Her hand pulled back at that, slowly and gently. "If you'd like me to, of course." He was an adult, after all.

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_andingtall]

"You didn't fail us." Mom. "You died. That's not the same thing." He frowned again, brows bunching and shoulders hunching with it. "Most of the time, I'm not mad for what you did to save Dad. I'm just mad that you weren't there to help me."

"Maybe it was just..." He shrugged. "But I've always thought that if you'd been there when we found out about me, it would've been different. Easier. So, I mean... It'd be stupid not to let you be a part of my life now. Maybe we can just take the 'mom' part slowly and be friends first?"

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_huntermom]

Even though it was meant as a peaceful, friendly offer and a kind one at that, the words stung deep into Mary's chest. She kept the reaction from reaching her expression and she channeled that energy to give him a nod. "Friends. Alright. We can definitely do that" In truth Mary knew that anything Sam was willing to give her, she should gratefully take and so she quelled whatever sadness there was for later.

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_andingtall]

Sam knew it had to have hurt, even if he couldn't see it on her face. Then again, how would he know what he saw in her face, since this was the first time he'd ever seen it in anything other than a flat photo.

He sighed, because he didn't want to feel guilty about this, and... oh for fuck's sake. Sam reached out and pulled her into a hug. "Don't think I don't love you, and I'm not glad to see you. I do. I am. I just... need a little time to get used to the idea."

Re: Mary - Assigned Threads

[st_huntermom]

She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the feel of him wash over her. He felt a little like John which caused another pang in her heart."You can have all the time in the world." She could be patient. She owed him that.