Kitty Pryde (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
st_alksthroughwalls) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
strangetrip2018-02-21 03:43 pm
st_alksthroughwalls) wrote in strangetrip2018-02-21 03:43 pm
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[For Piotr] Avels for All Time
Anyone who knew her from home would either have been shocked or utterly unsurprised to see Kitty had taken to studying the Old Testament and the Union Prayer Book, at the Inn. The dividing line wouldn't be as clear as old friend versus new, but instead those who understood her faith had always been a part of her and those who'd never been with her when she'd needed to close her fingers around the Star of David she always wore.
Piotr wouldn't be surprised; from her world or his, he would understand completely if she waffled about whether the Mourner's Kaddish was appropriate on the occasion of Wyatt's departure, or the anniversary of Lara's, or today when she came to tell him what she'd learned. He would understand entirely, if she decided to consider them avel, or mourners, not just for the seven days of a proper shiva for the dead, but for all times.
They were always mourning. Always in the midst of one shiva (seven) or another but never staying long enough to sit. Here, now, finally, she thought, sitting was all they did. Sit and marinate in their grief until they were vulnerable and fragile and afraid. The vulnerability and the distraction, these were why the shiva in the first place. An avel couldn't be assumed to have things together and make good decisions. All they were supposed to do was focus on their dead and mourn.
And if their lost weren't dead, Kitty thought it perfectly just to consider them still avel. Which was why she really hated to interrupt Petey while he was happily gathering up bottles and vases from an art lesson, obviously about curves. He hadn't noticed her, and she was reluctant to intrude.
Piotr wouldn't be surprised; from her world or his, he would understand completely if she waffled about whether the Mourner's Kaddish was appropriate on the occasion of Wyatt's departure, or the anniversary of Lara's, or today when she came to tell him what she'd learned. He would understand entirely, if she decided to consider them avel, or mourners, not just for the seven days of a proper shiva for the dead, but for all times.
They were always mourning. Always in the midst of one shiva (seven) or another but never staying long enough to sit. Here, now, finally, she thought, sitting was all they did. Sit and marinate in their grief until they were vulnerable and fragile and afraid. The vulnerability and the distraction, these were why the shiva in the first place. An avel couldn't be assumed to have things together and make good decisions. All they were supposed to do was focus on their dead and mourn.
And if their lost weren't dead, Kitty thought it perfectly just to consider them still avel. Which was why she really hated to interrupt Petey while he was happily gathering up bottles and vases from an art lesson, obviously about curves. He hadn't noticed her, and she was reluctant to intrude.
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Because there wasn't really anything else to say in the face of his memories, strong and good, and bittersweet, Kitty said, "I know what you're thinking. You're not alone. Welcome to the X-Men, honey," and then hugged him. She wasn't Jean, they weren't the X-Men, but he definitely wasn't alone.
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He rested his head on her shoulder as they hugged. There was a part of him that believed her, like he had with Jean, but it could not overshadow that feeling of black core of loneliness that had followed him since he had been exiled. He had a place here at the Inn and a growing purpose, but it still did not feel like home. But her words did help immensely. Kissing her lightly on the cheek, he gave her a small smile, "Thank you, Katya. You are not alone, either."
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