strangetrip | [EP] I am made of stars

It was night and everything smelled like the sea.

Snow White lay spread-eagle in middle of the parking lot, staring up at the stars. Her hair fanned around her head, inky black and, seeing as she hadn’t bothered to cut it since her arrival, growing almost absurdly long.

The sun had set over an hour ago and the sky was full into the black. The moon, not quite full but still nearly so, shone down silver and cool like a single huge, impassive eye. The sight of so much sky and so little horizon left her feeling dizzy, as though if she could forget the feeling of pavement under her back she might float upward and be lost in that eternity up there. It reminded her distantly of Mrs. H’s mirror and how it had caught the moon in its glass. But not enough to spoil the view. Not enough to make her afraid.

She’d had the nightmare again last night, the one where she was caught in the room full of fire. In the beginning it came every night. Then slowly but surely, it became less frequent. She hadn’t burned through the night in months. Logically, it would be months again before the fire, but she still couldn’t quite face going in, lying down, and closing her eyes.

She thought of Sansa and--because she had never asked--wondered if the stars in Westeros were different from the ones above her now. She wondered if that velvet black had a texture, and then if it was stupid to wonder that. She named all the constellations and stars she knew, some from her childhood observations, some from books she’d read in the library. Her gaze fixed for a time on Polaris.

She didn’t think anybody was around to hear her. “It’s so far away that no matter where we are, that’s still north.” It was a wild thought.

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"She was wrong." Her tone brooked no argument. "If I hadn't come, you would still have a family with Kashaw and Vex'ahlia. You have friends, and a girlfriend. And unlike Robin, Dyson thinks the world of you."

Snow felt her face grow hot, and she immediately looked away, mumbling something under her breath that might have been words. It was certainly attempting to be words, though perhaps not to be audible or clear enough to be understood.

She would certainly have reprimanded Snow, told her to speak clearly and offered a threat for if she failed to do so. Regina made a point of reinforcing how loathsome Mrs. H had been by simply stroking Snow's hair and inviting her into a hug.

Snow White allowed it in a way she would not--perhaps could not--have done some years ago, letting Regina draw her close and tucking up against her.

Pleased by the physical affection, Regina kissed Snow's hair and then let out a quietly contented sigh. After a few quiet moments, she stroked Snow's back and said, "When I was a young queen, I used to stand on my balcony and stare up at the stars. I couldn't take off on a horse for a mad gallop across the fields, because it wasn't proper, and Leopold wouldn't let me go anywhere without guards, or his daughter. But the sky and what lay beyond was so vast, it gave me a few treasured moments of peace and perspective."

Snow nodded, though she didn't say anything for a moment before finally admitting, "I couldn't sleep."

"Red room dreams?"

It wasn't entirely a stab in the dark. Both of them still had them sometimes, and there was no telling what might trigger one.

Snow nodded. There was no point in lying about that. "I had another one last night."

"You know you can come to me," Regina reminded her. "Dyson and I both want you to be able to come if you need me."

"I know," Snow assured her. "I just..." She scrubbed a hand over her face. "I wasn't scared exactly. Just tired."

A feeling she understood only too well. "And you thought if you weren't going to sleep tonight or not rest when you did sleep, you thought you might as well enjoy the night sky instead," she suggested, one part question, one part understanding, all parts invitation.

Snow made a soft sound that implied this was close enough. "I thought maybe it might help. Looking at the stars."

"Because the sky is vast and the stars are cool and not red?" She kissed her daughter's hair again. "Whatever the reason, I hope it does."

"Mm..." Snow considered that, letting her eyes fall closed. "Yeah. I think so."

"Then rest, love." Regina settled herself to hold her daughter until she chose to move. "I've nowhere to be that I can't stay for awhile."

[EP] I am made of stars - OTA

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