strangetrip | [GP/EP] Check-in Day

It was a musical day at the Madonna Inn, both inside and out. Curnen had taken her usual place up on the roof and was singing charms to the sky to keep any wanderers from getting lost (though that part of it was not immediately obvious). Unrelated to that, Sunny was on the dance floor in the bar, summoning songs of her own with her knife to keep her moving before she went to do her shift at the library later. It was one of those days where if she thought about it too hard she’d start thinking about that empty bed in her shitty room and the person she most wanted to be there.

This of course eventually seeped into her magic. She knew better. Maybe she’d even wanted that to happen.

Because just once, between different pop hits and dance beats came a rather unexpected French love song. She sighed and rolled her eyes, but the exasperation didn’t last. Before the lyrics started up she was waltzing. By herself and not caring how it might have looked. And for those three and a half minutes, she dared let herself hope for the slimmest chance that Orlu might come through that door.

She didn’t let herself hope too hard, though. There was admitting to feeling things and there was setting yourself up for certain disappointment. She’d lived too long with disappointment to do that to herself.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Bear with me," Curnen said, holding up her hands. "I'm feeling this out as I go."

She chewed her lip. "So what I'm hearing you describe is two different things." She held out one hand, "'I've got powers, and that's cool as shit' and--" she held out her other hand-- "'I use them to help people.' One's abilities you have, one's... well, a job."

"They go hand-in-hand," Peter insists. "A lot of what I do can't be done without my powers, right? So powers are just one part of it."

Peter takes a breath. "Yeah, it's not always fun," Peter says, thinking of that whole final fight with the Vulture. "But when I'm able to help someone, I don't know..." He's starting to feel like he's not explaining it well. "...after it, it just feels worth it."

"Well, yeah, you need the skill set for the job." Curnen allowed. "You didn't need to take the job, though. You could've done something different with it."

"Yeah," Peter concedes. "But when you can do the things I do... don't you have a moral responsibility to use them to help others?"

Maybe some people would disagree, but not Peter.

Curnen spread her arms wide and shrugged at that. "Maybe you do, maybe you don't, I got no idea on that one. Probably? But it's still a choice. Would you say the same about everything you can do?"

Peter's not 100% sure he's on the same page.

"What, that I have an obligation to help others?"

Curnen nodded. "With any other skills you got, yes. Do you think you're obligated to use all the things you can do to help other people? Did that thought even cross your mind before the spider bit you?"

Edited 2018-05-21 01:55 (UTC)

"Yeah, I wanted to help people then, too. It's impossible to help people all the time, but..."

He'd still gone after that mugger even before he knew he actually had powers.

"I think... it's kinda different now. Like now that I have these great powers, I've got a responsibility that comes with it. A bigger one than a normal person does."

Curnen held up a finger and pointed when he said it was impossible to help people all the time. Yes. Even if he didn't see it now, the seeds of understanding the distinction were there. "And that's good, that you wanna use them in a responsible way," she agreed. "Just it is a choice. Someone else in your shoes might not make that choice. The skills and the job ain't the same thing."

"So, the job," Peter pronounces, because Curnen seems to be focused more on the job than the tools he used to do it.

He thinks.

And then speaks.

"The job is hard sometimes," he says, "But most of the time, I feel really good when I'm doing it because I'm doing the right thing. There's sometimes where I don't feel good about it because it's hard or scary or painful --"

That much he can admit.

"-- but even if I weren't a superhero, it'd be the same. People without powers, they still find doing the right thing painful. It's just... bigger when you do."

Curnen nodded. She wasn't going to tell the kid what to do, there was no stopping him from doing this thing even if that was what she wanted. But... "When you say it's fun," she ventured, "I think it's real important you remember you're talking about the powers, not the job. Because yeah, enjoy the powers. They're a part of you much as anything else, love 'em best you can. Too many people got pieces of themselves they don't like. And yeah, I've seen you jumping around, that shit's pretty neat.

"What you chose to do with 'em, though, that's different. You chose to be a hero." The choice of hero rather that superhero was deliberate, just to make the distinction. "Something that's defined by helping people. Saving people, even. That's something to be proud of. And it's rewarding. Love that good you do. It's also, using your words, hard and scary and painful. And I worry if you don't tease those things apart some, you're gonna hurt that excitement you have about your powers when the hero shit gets really real."

And also because describing something so serious that people's lives were at stake as 'fun' was probably going to piss someone off. But if he'd grasped that before, they probably wouldn't be having this conversation.

Peter's still having a hard time separating one from the other because like he said before, it felt like one was inseparable from the other. It might have been because he didn't use his powers unless he was doing the spidey-thing (if he couldn't do something before he had powers, he shouldn't do it now), and when he did, it was only when it was intentional. Like when his spidey-senses went off and his reflexes went off with it.

He couldn't do anything about that.

"Yeah," he says. "You're probably right."

Even though he still doesn't get it.

"Stuff's already gotten real, though," Peter says, rubbing the side of his nose. He knows it's stupid, but he doesn't want Curnen thinking he's just giving tourists directions in costume or something. The stuff he was doing was sometimes Big. Even if no one thought it was.

Curnen reached up to put a hand on his cheek."I don't doubt that at all," she assured him. Only words like 'I don't let people die' said more than he probably thought. There was still plenty of down to go from where he was. "I don't doubt at all that you're brave, or that you've helped people, or even that you've done things other people couldn't. Just if you're in this for the long haul... maybe think about it?"

Curnen's words make him feel better than he thought. It wasn't that he didn't expect Curnen to be able to cheer him up. It was that he didn't realize until now that he needed the encouragement in the first place.

"Yeah, I will," he says. He smiles. "Thanks, Curnen."

Curnen smiled and kissed his forehead. "You're welcome."

She pulled back. "I should get something to eat. And you should probly try to find a spider to observe. I bet if you look around outside, you'll find some inspiration."

"Yeah, I'll have to look around." Peter smiles. He looks back down at his notebook, then back over at Curnen as she gets up.

"Have a good lunch, Curnen."

Curnen gathered up the violin case at her feet before she headed off to the cafe. "You have fun!"

[GP/EP] Check-in Day

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen

Re: Peter & Curnen