strangetrip | [For River T] I Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me

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[For River T] I Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me

Dean hated Clarice, except he didn't. The humiliation of her pick would have been exactly something he would have done if the roles were reversed. Hell, it was what he would have done but with his Dean spin on it if he had won. His time would come, he just had to be patient. In the mean time, he had to learn the stupid song and dance moves. On the bright side at least she hadn't picked anything from a boy band.

From the Spring Dance, he knew who was a good dancer and of those there really was only one person he'd ask. That was River. He'd narrowed it down to her because while he wasn't sure if she would keep what they were doing a secret, she talked in riddles that even if she did tell, the other person probably wouldn't get it.

Unfortunately, Jane had agreed to let him borrow her laptop even though he hadn't said why. Clarice transferred the video from her phone to it. So now he was stuck without excuses. Even River had agreed to help him, DAMN IT.

He did have a six pack of beer in the refrigerator. If he was going to learn this crap, he was getting beer out of it. "You want one?" He called over to River as he grabbed his first beer and glared at the laptop on this small coffee table as if it was its fault.

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River was sitting on the floor eye's level with the laptop, chin almost on the coffee table, as she watched the video for the third time. The choreography was complex but not difficult.

She looked over at Dean and cocked her head, "I am not supposed to have sugar according to Simon." Not that she followed that rule. "I do not think alcohol would be advisable."

That just meant more for him. Dean glanced at the laptop and scowled deeper, "Okay I am so not doing that move, you're gonna have to figure out something different." He was NOT rounding his hips at the audience and then lunging down, he didn't care.

"Something different will be easily identified." A pause and she looked at him with innocent eyes. "But would that not negate the intent of the wager?"

Okay it's possible she's not here to help so much as here to enjoy the spectacle.

Dean moved his scowl from the laptop to River. River was right but he didn't care.

"Nope." He lied easily. "Lip sincing is capturing the spirit of it, not an exact match."

He knew she was right, that was good enough. Plus he had a point.

"Your argument has some logic." Not much but some. She got to her feet. "There are some moves that will be required as they appear multiple times."

They would be missed if omitted.

Dean set his beer bottle down on the counter and turned to River. "Go ahead." He didn't disagree but instead moved to stand where she could show him and he could try to figure it out.

This was the bet and he was stuck with it. It just meant revenge would be sweeter.

She frowned at him, then at his shoes. This would be far more accurate if he wore shoes like those in the video but she did not

"I have simplified this to the parts I believe will be most recognizable, but you will still require rhythm." Because she had literally no idea if he could even find a beat. Let alone dance.

Then she struck the first pose looking incredibly like the proverbial 'little teapot'.

Dean gritted his teeth and called Clarice a lot of things in his mind, but he followed River's lead and put his hip out and his arm up. Yeah, revenge would be sweet. He could wait. He had patience.

"I've got rhythm." Sure not like a lot of people but he actually wasn't a bad dancer. It helped to get chicks.

"This is the basic move," she demonstrated the twist-step that comprised the bulk of the modified choreography she had decided to teach him.

"You do this when you aren't doing something else and it will appear as though you did... more." She turned on the music and demonstrated again this time counting along with the music as she moved.

If he could do this he would be halfway there.

He watched her move and it didn't look that difficult. Dean figured if he had to do it, he was going to do it and it might be a bit exaggerated.

His hips moved to the beat, a little stiff at first, but then they got more fluid. Okay that wasn't as hard as it looked.

"I think I can do that."

She watched with a critical eye for a moment then nodded as he got the basic move well enough to continue.

"There are a number of other steps that recur, I have selected the most frequent. Those times correctly and the basic hip move should be sufficient."

She ran him through the steps she had selected, the hands up kick, the ring on it hand gesture, the hair toss, the circle and the pump walk.

Dean watched River do the moves and they looked simple enough to be able to give the 'impression' that he was doing the damn video. He tried the hair toss and stopped. While it was sexy as hell on a female it looked ridiculous on him.

"Damn, that's harder than it looks. How do you toss your hair back without it falling back in front of your face or swing your head to the side and not get whiplash from it."

This was why he kept his hair short. Easy and you didn't have to think about it.

She considered that, "You become used to the weight and swing, to moving it about. So it becomes natural."

Not unlike dealing with ones genitalia dangling around but she didn't say that.

He considered that, "that's going to look stupid with my short hair. Maybe I should get a wig." Dean could not believe that came out of his mouth.

She nodded, "For authenticity."

It is really hard to tell if she is seriously agreeing, or quietly making mock. It's possible she's doing both - like a good semi adopted little sister should.

As much as Dean hated to admit it and as much as he could read the quiet mocking by River (and appreciate it), he'd have to wear one.

"I am never losing at beer pong again." Or losing to Clarice. Either worked.

"The only way to ensure that is to cease playing, or only play those who you know to have inferior skill." She bent to restart the video so they could practice the moves again with the music.

Dean flicked his middle finger at River, "I thought she had inferior skill." It wasn't said with heat but with the same intensity he and Sam did their bitch/jerk back and forth.

When the music restarted, Dean swayed his hips and put his hand up as River told him but before he could do the hair flip, he left the room. "Don't worry, I'll be right back." Dean grabbed one of the many towels that the Inn provided and wrapped it around his head to mimic hair (sort of).

"Okay, let's give this a shot." He actually was able to do the hair flip if awkward.

That was sort of her point, if he didn't KNOW she had inferior skill then wagering held risk and he could not guarantee he would not lose.

She eyed the makeshift terry cloth hair and nodded, "That is a good use for the towels."

Now he's just have to find a wig. Hopefully that hair salon that cut his mom's hair would have one. If not, a towel would work.

"Used to improvising, just not with a lip synch thing." Dean shook his head and the towel tilted on his head. His hand came up to put it right and then completed more of the moves River taught him.

She danced with him, watching and occasionally reaching out to poke or prod him into better form.

Really he was lucky she didn't have a ruler like one of her ballet teachers had liked to use.

"You are off balance when you put your hip out." It didn't look bad just, not right.

Dean snickered. "It's not natural to stick a hip out like that for a guy." Okay, it was, but he was pretty sure he would always look awkward doing it.

He put his arms out wide so she could place his hip as it needed to be. "How should it look?"

It was brisk and clinical as she stepped close and pushed on one hip then on his glutes trying to get him to tuck his hips correctly. Then she looked up at him almost nose to nose.

"It would be easier if you were wearing the correct shoes." But she is in no way trying to see if she can talk him into heels AND a wig as she stepped away after giving his hip one more prod.

"Not gonna happen." Stubborn Dean was stubborn. "It will just have to be awkward." He shifted his hips as prodded and it did feel a little better. Not that he would admit to that.

It was okay, he didn't have to admit it. She knew. She watched him do the moves a couple more times and nodded.

"You're doing well enough that an inability to dance will not be embarrassing." Other parts of what he'd agreed to do would be, but not an inability to dance.

"Thanks, I think." Dean said with an arched brow and a hint of amusement. "One down two more embarrassing favors to ask." He picked up a new bottle of beer and twisted off the cap. "Thanks for this." He meant it and it hadn't been as bad as he thought it would be.

"You are family," or Sam was and by extension that made Dean and Mary family as well. Even if they may not fully agree. "There is no need to thank me."

Then she peered at him curiously, "What other embarrassing favors do you need?" Though honestly this one hadn't been that embarrassing if you asked her.

"The hair salon place to see if they have wigs for this." Dean said, "but that might not be too embarrassing since I don't have to say it's for me. The other is the clothing store to figure out what I should wear beside jeans or shorts. Maybe see if they have a tux." He motioned toward the video, "they're in black."

"They are in leotards." Which were completely different than a tux. "I have a black leotard." It had arrived in her egg, along with dance shoes and tights. But she hadn't used them yet.

"But I do not think it will fit you."

"I don't think it will fit me either." Even if it did, he wouldn't wear it. "So, I'll just go with dark outfit. And since they're singing about putting a ring on it, I think a tux would go with it pretty good."

She took a moment to consider his logic and found no flaws so she nodded. "You will be quite dashing. Women will like it."

"Yeah?" Dean smirked, "you think they'll wanna put a ring on it?" He couldn't resist both teasing and asking.

It was possible so she nodded her agreement.

"I will not be made when I see that they want... it." She doesn't quite pull it off with the panache of Beyonce. But her grin is genuine and infectious.

[ooc: Fade on his reply?]

Dean chuckled at her response and the grin. "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it." He put his hand up as Beyonce had done and twisted his wrist with a wink to River.

[ooc: and Fade!]

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[For River T] I Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me

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