strangetrip | [GP] All we can do is learn to swim

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim. - Vicki Harrison

"You're sure?" Regina already knew the answer but demanding that Sam tell her what she already knew satisfied something petty in her. Or maybe just something hurt that hoped he'd have a different answer than her locator spell had already provided.

"Yeah." Sam half-rolled his eyes at her as he leaned across the pink bar counter to grab bottles of beer from the Silver Bar ice bin -- probably the results of Rebekah's last work-effort at the Inn -- for himself and his newly arrived companion.

Briefly, Regina considered burning a hole in the seat of his jeans, but it wouldn't bring Rebekah or any of the absent ones back. Instead, she took refuge in straightening her A-line and walking around the stylish counter Sam lay across like he was surfing the waves of grief. She took down a bottle of pointlessly pricey champagne, and then found the precise cut-crystal glasses Rebekah and Miss Fisher had preferred for their afternoon indulgences. She poured herself a glass and one for the person who dared her openly bitter expression.

"So who all are we missing?" they both said at once, glared at each other and sighed. They both knew the answers, in their own way and for their own reasons. And neither of them wanted to say.

Rebekah Mikaelson. Henry Winchester. Jack Robinson. Phryne Fisher. Dorothy Williams. Angua von Uberwald. Jaime Vegas. Harry Dresden. Lydia Martin. Raleigh Becket. Yasmeen. Joanna Beauchamp. Constance Bonacieux D'Artagnan. Lindsey McDonald.

"Grief is like the ocean," Sam clearly quoted from some fucking where, and Regina tuned him out until he added, "All we can do is learn to swim. Rebekah told me that."

Now Regina rolled her eyes; they weren't friends. "Shut up, Sam."

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Buffy understood that probably more than Molly thought. "Yeah I do. My Watcher - uh kind of like a mentor - was like that. Giles understood me in so many ways, but in others he didn't get me at all." She sighed, "I miss Giles." Then she made a face. "Sorry. Not what you need to hear right now."

"No it's okay." Molly assured her. "It helps to know someone else knows what it's like." It was also a nice distraction from her pissy mood. "How did you meet your Watcher - Giles? Are you paired up or did he choose you, like Harry did?"

Not that Harry had much of a choice at the time, but Molly liked to think that it was inevitable, Fate, whatever rather than obligation to her father to keep her alive.

"We're paired up." Buffy said, though to be honest she didn't know how that happened. Maybe Giles did put in to be her Watcher on purpose because of the Hellmouth.

"So I got lucky with that. I've met other Watchers and Giles was the right one for me." He let her be her whereas the others she was sure would mold her into who they wanted her to be.

"God works in mysterious ways." Molly said with just a hint of humor but truthfully, she believed that. Not just because her dad had been the Fist of God or that she'd grown up going to Mass every Sunday of her life. Molly had seen too many people survive things that they shouldn't have survived.

"Harry is my dad's best friend. I've known him since I was little, but even with that, I don't think he would have been my mentor if he'd had a choice." It actually felt good to talk about Harry. The pain was still there, but it wasn't as intense as it was before.

Buffy made a snorting sound with Molly's comment about God. Buffy wasn't so sure they existed even with the Hellmouth - though that time with Angel and the snow.... Maybe.

"Why do you think that?" Buffy was truly curious. She hadn't thought about if Giles would have been her Watcher if he'd had a choice. Okay, that was a lie, she had thought about it right after Kendra and she'd gotten jealous.

"It wasn't personal to me. I don't think he'd want to be anyone's mentor. Harry had a bad experience with his first one." Molly thought about that for a moment and then added, "though I think if he did, it would have been reversed. I wouldn't want to pick him. Not from anything he did, but he meant so much to me, still does, that it's hard to see the disappointment, you know? Which is why I didn't tell him when I got my powers."

Which 20/20 hindsight - that was a stupid move on her part.

"I get it. There is nothing worse than the look of disappointment on Giles' face. It's way worse than anything he could say or do." Well maybe not do with the whole Slayer test thing, but they'd moved on.

"I didn't tell my mom until after I'd have my powers for two years. That was the hardest keeping it from her. Sometimes I wonder if I should have kept it from her, even though it's a lot easier now. It's hard to close that door after you opened it."

Molly knew what Buffy meant. Once you opened Pandora's Box you couldn't go back and once you exposed people to what was out there, they couldn't unsee it.

"I hid my magic from my parents for a long time. Dad even had a connection to the Supernatural but I still didn't tell them." Molly wasn't sure why she hadn't told them, thinking back on it, beyond she liked having the secret. "I kinda liked being different and them not knowing."

"Yeah, I kinda do, too." Buffy's smile reflected her agreement with being special. She always wanted to be a normal girl without the pressure, which she definitely gets at the Inn. Her ego was healthy enough that she missed a little bit being special in a place that had a lot of special people.

"It's fun having a secret that only you know, or your best friend because it's also fun to have a secret to share."

That made Molly think of Harry again and nodded. She didn't tell him everything, oh hell no, but it was nice that she could talk about things that she couldn't talk to her other friends about. It was ironic that the Winter Fae had stepped into that role after Harry. Or maybe not so ironic given what Harry had told her about her future.

"Yeah that's pretty good, too." She added with a soft sigh, Harry being in her thoughts again.

Buffy could tell that Molly was into thoughts of Harry leavings and she totally got it. She also knew that she'd probably want to be along, she definitely would if any of her friends had left.

"I should get going and let you get back to your..." She glanced down at the holes made by Molly earlier, with a little smile, "thoughts."

Molly was grateful for the interruption and distraction. She was also grateful that Buffy understood she'd fallen back into her moping. "Thanks. I promise I won't make too much of a mess." She gave her a half smile, "Well I'll try."

[GP] All we can do is learn to swim

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