strangetrip | [GP] All we can do is learn to swim

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim. - Vicki Harrison

"You're sure?" Regina already knew the answer but demanding that Sam tell her what she already knew satisfied something petty in her. Or maybe just something hurt that hoped he'd have a different answer than her locator spell had already provided.

"Yeah." Sam half-rolled his eyes at her as he leaned across the pink bar counter to grab bottles of beer from the Silver Bar ice bin -- probably the results of Rebekah's last work-effort at the Inn -- for himself and his newly arrived companion.

Briefly, Regina considered burning a hole in the seat of his jeans, but it wouldn't bring Rebekah or any of the absent ones back. Instead, she took refuge in straightening her A-line and walking around the stylish counter Sam lay across like he was surfing the waves of grief. She took down a bottle of pointlessly pricey champagne, and then found the precise cut-crystal glasses Rebekah and Miss Fisher had preferred for their afternoon indulgences. She poured herself a glass and one for the person who dared her openly bitter expression.

"So who all are we missing?" they both said at once, glared at each other and sighed. They both knew the answers, in their own way and for their own reasons. And neither of them wanted to say.

Rebekah Mikaelson. Henry Winchester. Jack Robinson. Phryne Fisher. Dorothy Williams. Angua von Uberwald. Jaime Vegas. Harry Dresden. Lydia Martin. Raleigh Becket. Yasmeen. Joanna Beauchamp. Constance Bonacieux D'Artagnan. Lindsey McDonald.

"Grief is like the ocean," Sam clearly quoted from some fucking where, and Regina tuned him out until he added, "All we can do is learn to swim. Rebekah told me that."

Now Regina rolled her eyes; they weren't friends. "Shut up, Sam."

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"The Norn didn't do anything to me. She took what I offered." He just hadn't known what he was offering, and hadn't asked. Hadn't known what it would mean.

He didn't speak for a long moment but his expression clearly said there was more to be said.

"You deserve to feel fully. Everyone does."

"Technically it was a deal, and magic always comes with a price, but she took advantage of your need to help someone you love, your compassion, and your goodness."

She reached up to place her hand over his heart.

"We had to re-cast my curse to protect ourselves. And when we needed to cast it a third time, I had nothing left to sacrifice, nothing left that I loved. My stepdaughter had to cast the curse by taking her husband's heart. As he lay breathing his last, she begged me to take half her heart and give it to him. We didn't know if it could be done. But she was willing to risk everything rather than lose him.

"It worked, Dyson. It saved him. Because her heart was big enough for both of them. Neither of them feels any less intensely than they ever did." Possibly because True Love had played a hand in it, but they couldn't know, she and Dyson, if there was True Love, or love at all, unless she took the risk.

"I don't have her heart or her compassion. But my sister powered an impossible spell based on the resilience of my heart. Even if I can't feel fully for a little while, I'll recover." And if she didn't, it wasn't irreversible.

She looked up into his eyes and let him see the certainty, the willingness, and the beginnings of love there. "It's worth the risk. You are." Even if he never loved her, it would be worth it, if it worked.

He didn't argue, he hadn't been taken advantage of - he knew the Norn, knew how tricky she was and still he'd agreed without clarifying what she was asking for.

He listened though, shaking his head slightly and placing a hand over where hers rested on his chest with a sigh. He didn't think it was worth any risk, the possibility that she might end up like him. And what if one of them disappeared like the people half the inn were mourning. How would that work?

"I..." he didn't say no. He was intrigued enough that he didn't reject the idea. "Let me think about it? Give me some time? And you can think about it too because I don't want to do it and have you regret it."

When his hand covered hers, she braced for the no, gaze shuttering to hide the pain of rejection. She needed this, but if she forced it, then she was no better than when she'd taken her father's heart to fuel the curse.

Her eyes flashed open, startlement painting itself across her features at what he did say. She felt a smile starting, sweet, genuine, and brilliant. "Yes. As much as you need."

He didn't smile back, but he wasn't frowning either as he nodded once.

"I should let you get back to calming the masses."

"Not yet."

She slipped her arms around his waist again and rested her cheek against his shoulder.

"I still need you to calm me." It was, perhaps, the truest thing she'd ever told him. And yet, still, she couldn't force out the single word please?

She didn't have to say please, just ask for what she needed - so he wrapped his arms around her again and just breathed.

[GP] All we can do is learn to swim

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