strangetrip | [EP] aliens control the coffee supply

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[EP] aliens control the coffee supply

Xavin, for the most part, hadn't actually bothered keeping regular hours at her little coffee nook. She spent some time there most days, how long depending on how many people wanted coffee or how interested she was in whatever books she'd selected for the day.

Today was probably going to be a longer day, if only because she'd had to restock a little from the kitchens. She'd found a little cart to haul things and was currently engaged in putting her supplies away. Milks and whipped cream into the little refrigerator, beans stashed in their cupboard, disposable cups stacked and non-disposable cups cleaned and put away. (Some people liked those, particularly if they didn't intend to leave the library. But it meant that her kitchen time included doing dishes, which was often more fun than drudgery. Especially when she accidentally overdid the soap.)

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“I accept your challenge,” Xavin replied with a grave nod. “What kinds of flavors do you like, generally?” With an idea of what Scanlan liked, she could construct a drink that leaned on it.

"Hmmm... Ale's my favourite. Wine is next. Water, if I absolutely need to. That Coca Cola stuff isn't too bad either, but it has a lot of sugar." Scanlan, of course, assumed she solely meant beverage flavours.

Hmm, that was not helpful. Beyond ‘not too sweet’ being important. Some to smooth out the coffee... “I will try this.” One shot of espresso, steamed milk, some maple flavor, and one more things: a little bacon salt (because salt in coffee was delicious).

Maple bacon latte. Xavin placed the cup in front of Scanlan. “Several attempts may be called for before we find one that works. This one first.”

"I should probably say that coffee flavour basically tastes the worst. It's bitter, but not in the 'at least I'm going to get drunk' sort of way."

Still, when the concoction was ready, Scanlan took it in hand and sniffed. It didn't smell too bad. He took a sip and it looked like someone doing a wine tasting. He smacked his lips a few times and swished around. He swallowed though instead of spitting it out.

"Do I detect a note of bacon?"

"You do." Xavin nodded. "Bacon salt. I understand that bacon and maple work well together as flavors."

"Bacon is fantastic. You know though, I only take maple for the first time here. Which is a shame, really. That stuff is delicious."

He took another sip, but didn't look entirely sold. "Still tastes a little too coffee-y"

"I was trying to avoid too much sweet." Xavin considered, then started on another drink. A little vanilla, some white chocolate, some marshmallow syrup. That plus steamed milk meant that the coffee almost added a toasted sort of flavor rather than necessarily tasting like coffee.

Of course, to Xavin there seemed to be little point in drinking coffee if you didn't like the flavor of coffee. Still, the practice was good.

Another little cup was placed on the counter. "Perhaps this one."

Watching her make a coffee was sort of like watching someone make a potion. Some of it he had no idea what she was putting in. When it was done, he had to admit - he liked the smell.

"That looked really complicated." He proceeded to do the same sort of extravagant taste test as the first. "Not bad. Kind of feels like dessert, though. Is coffee a dessert?"

He looked over at the machine that produced the grounds. "Where'd you learn to do this anyways?"

“Coffee is often served along with dessert, so yes. It can be dessert.” Certainly there was nothing savory about the white chocolate marshmallow thing.

Xavin looked over at the machine when Scanlan did. “I watched others operate it on Earth with my... friends.” Not family, really, but friends was unlikely to provoke much argument. “When I arrived here, I experimented until it worked corrrectly.”

"As a dessert coffee, this isn't bad. Could use some alcohol probably." Scanlan wasn't sure he could have a lot of the drink, though, since it was pretty sweet.

"So coffee maker was not your first and original line of work." He nodded. "Well, good for you finding a niche here."

"Brandy or vodka, maybe." A number of dessert-course coffee drinks did have alcohol of some kind in them. Xavin decided that she would look for a book of coffee drinks, or hot alcoholic beverages. There had to be something somewhere.

She smiled briefly at the observation about her original line of work, then replied completely straight-faced, "Yes, it was very pleasant to find a place when I realized there were no openings for 'alien warlord' or 'planetary ruler' here. Thank the Great Ones for coffee."

"I don't know. I bet you could try to warlord over us. Or you could run an election and run against Regina - at the very least it will definitely be amusing." He could see Regina very competitive at something like that.

"Alright. So you maybe sold me maybe on dessert coffee. But isn't it supposed to wake me up?"

"I could," Xavin agreed. "I choose not to. I do not, in fact, wish for rule or war. It is only what I have been trained to do."

Coffee was more interesting and better. No one - virtually no one - died of coffee. "When it is actually coffee, it will. In order to not taste it, the coffee is perhaps one-sixth of that drink."

"Hmmm... So you're saying either coffee can get me drunk or high, huh?" He seemed to weigh this. "Okay, okay. Let's find one I don't hate entirely in case I need a pick me up. Like at least 50% like."

Xavin considered, then decided to toss her favorite into the ring. Two shots of espresso, vanilla syrup, steamed milk, caramel sauce. Another cup was placed in front of Scanlan. "This is a caramel macchiato. It is one of Earth's crowning achievements."

And here he thought one of Earth's crowning achievements was cable - that television thing was amazing with the amount of stories it could show you at once.

He picked up the cup and sniffed and sipped and swirled and swallowed. He smacked his lips a few times and then nodded. "Okay, I'll give you this isn't bad. I don't know if I'd say crowning achievements, but it's definitely better than whatever comes out of that coffee machine by itself." He took another small sip.

"Is it true this stuff cures hangovers?"

“That is accepted wisdom, but I think not. Hangovers are akin to dehydration, I believe, and coffe does not assist with that. Water or juice is better.” It wouldn’t help business saying do, but perhaps it would keep Scanlan from making his hangovers worse.

He made a bit of a face. "Water. You know, it's still hard for me to get around the water around here is actually safe to drink. Back home, unless someone knew prestidigitation, drinking the water was a guaranteed way of being on the toilet for hours."

“Did boiling not work?” Those would be hardy parasites if so! “I was trained to boil uncertain water.”

He blinked. "We boiled water to bathe in so it wasn't cold as hell. Why would you boil water otherwise?"

Science - lacking in Exandria.

"When water makes you sick, it is most likely due to parasites within the water wreaking havoc when ingested. Boil the water to kill the parasites, and the water is safe to drink." Xavin tilted her head. "Did you not have tea on Exandria either?"

"I'm going to follow up one question with another - what's a parasite?" Scanlan was having that distinct feeling that this was an Earth-knows-stuff-more moment.

"We had tea, but tea's different. It has leaves and stuff in it."

"The leaves do nothing but flavor the water. The boiling is what makes it safe." Xavin paused, trying to cast her thoughts in a simpler way. Simple enough to be understood. "Parasites are tiny things that batten on to other things to live. A flea is a parasite, it lives on creatures and drinks their blood. Water parasites live in your digestion. Unless they are dead by boiling when you drink them, or unless they have been filtered out. Which this Inn does, I think."

Scanlan made a face. "I knew there was a reason I didn't like team"

He understood. Sort of, anyways. "I still think I'll stick to ale and wine back home - there's really no better cure to a hangover than just staying a little drunk."

He spoke from experience there.

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[EP] aliens control the coffee supply

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